Girls
by Brandon Wenerd on September 9, 2011

Adult entertainment studio Pink Visual, the “Raw. Raunchy. Real” California-based skin flick production company, announced yesterday that they've “begun construction on an enormous underground bunker in preparation for the widely-anticipated global apocalypse that various prophetic sources have predicted will take place in late 2012.” Spokesperson Quentin Boyer confirmed it. The adult entertainment company is trying to figure out a way to “thwart fate” and ride out Armageddon, currently scheduled for December 21, 2012, say some. If nothing else, the underground sex lair in the California hills will be a new location for the studio to broadcast from. That's probably a better explanation for why this zombie-proof fallout shelter will feature “multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and sophisticated content production studio.” I'm sure the video cache is quite robust as well. Here's the full press-release from Pink Visual:

VAN NUYS, Calif. – Adult entertainment studio Pink Visual announced today that the company has begun construction on an enormous underground bunker in preparation for the widely-anticipated global apocalypse that various prophetic sources have predicted will take place in late 2012.
 
 
According to Pink Visual spokesman Quentin Boyer, the bunker is envisioned as “far more than a mere bomb shelter or subterranean survivalist enclave,” adding that the company “intends to ride out the 2012 apocalypse in style.”
 
 
“When we first began discussing this project, our initial vision wasn’t particularly ambitious,” Boyer said. “The idea was to create a shelter capable of sustaining only the Pink Visual staff and members of our immediate families. Then we started to think of all the performers, fans and business partners that helped make Pink Visual the success it is today, and we simply couldn’t bear the thought of leaving all those wonderful people behind to face the End of Days.”
 
 
While Pink Visual has declined to disclose the location of the bunker for the moment, citing “security concerns,” Boyer did relate a few details concerning some unexpected amenities that the shelter will feature, including multiple fully-stocked bars, an enormous performing stage and sophisticated content production studio.
 
 
“We’re not building this thing just to eke out a few more months of a deprived, downscaled existence,” Boyer said. “Our goal is nothing less than to survive the apocalypse to come in comfort and luxury, whether that catastrophe takes the form of fireballs flung Earthward by an all-seeing deity, extended torrential rainfall, Biblical rapture, an earthquake-driven mega-tsunami, radioactive flesh-eating zombies, or some combination of the above. We also intend to maintain our website update schedule throughout the ordeal, even if those websites are only available on the bunker’s self-contained local network by that time.”
 
 
While Boyer conceded that building the bunker is “obviously a major undertaking” he said he remains confident that Pink Visual will complete all major construction by September, 2012, and that the bunker will be fully operational well before the end of the “Great Cycle” tracked by the Mayan Calendar Stone.
 
 
“We need to allow time for extensive quality control of our critical infrastructure, and the move-in process itself will be a logistical challenge,” Boyer said. “We’re very confident in our plan, and firm in our belief that Pink Visual, as well as our fans, friends and financiers, will survive and thrive in the Post-Apocalyptic Era.”
 
 
Boyer said that the company is still “actively and vigorously debating” the selection criteria for all non-Pink Visual personnel who will take refuge in the bunker, adding that the selection process will “likely include both merit-based and random selections, with Pink Visual performers, active site members and twitter followers getting priority over the general public.”
 

Interesting PR tactic, PV! We're just happy you're not trying to get our attention with another crappy adult entertainment parody. LA Weekly reports “1,200 to 1,500 people” will be allowed in the bunker, presumably to go out with a bang. So, how do you get on the list?

That's still up in the air, according to Boyer. “That's a question we're still debating, actually.” He says the preferiential treatment goes to Pink Visual employees, owners, their immediate family members, some select business partners, and key performing talent. “For the rest of the spots, we're weighing a 'merit-based' approach that takes into account things like having a useful skill set (we'll need some doctors, for example), against having a lottery system,” he adds. Boyer mentions doing a combination of both, with “some spots being designated based on merit, and others being assigned through a lottery drawn from a pool of our fans, customers and twitter followers.” Before you ask, here's Pink Visual's Twitter.
 

In the meantime, a rep from Pink Visual passed along this blue print outline/architectural sketch of the “PVbunker,” which will be located under the studio. Click to expand:

 
 
 
 
We hope to have photos soon. Stay tuned.

Brandon Wenerd

About Brandon Wenerd...

Brandon Wenerd is BroBible's senior editor, guru of @brotips, and director of strategic partnerships. He joined BroBible in the fall of 2009 after graduating from Penn State. When he’s not writing, Brandon enjoys fishing, Phish, Philly sports, Dewey Beach, supporting live music, hot sauce, and beer. E-mail him with post ideas and news tips: brandon@brobible.com.

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