I might be in some kind of mood this week, but it seems like I brought some fire to the Hottie Index this week.
There honestly was quite a few things to be critical about and I’m not one to pull punches. If only some more girls had pulled their clothes off then we wouldn’t be in this position. So it goes with the weekly world of following hotties. Let’s open up the flood gates.
Let’s be honest. We love Katy Perry because of her boobs, plain and simple. If she didn’t have what appear to be some of the best tits around, she wouldn’t be nearly as popular. So when she appears on the cover of W this week showing some major cleavage, we get our hopes up that there will be some more of that to come in the rest of the shoot. Well, let me tell you, Terry Richardson may be a major creeper, but at least he knows how to take pictures better than Mario Sorrentio, who failed miserably in showcasing Perry’s two best features. (Ed. Note: I think the cover photo did the job just fine.)
We always knew McPhee had a bit of trash in her. Now she’s making American Idol and/or University of Florida Alumni look pretty bad by banging her former Smash director. That might not seem so terrible on the surface, but that director is married with three kids and McPhee is married herself. Now McPhee comes off as a huge slut who apparently only smashes dudes in their 40s. Ok maybe she doesn’t come off that way because she actually is a huge slut who smashes dudes in their 40s.
At 36, Orlando Bloom knows that he’s still got some good years ahead of him, but his 30-year old wife is probably headed downhill. Maybe that’s why Bloom decided to kick Kerr to the street this week as the two announced they were getting a divorce after six years. Bloom probably knows that he’s going to get some major pussy as he tours for the new Hobbit movies coming out over the next couple years, but at least there’s a poor bastard out there who will take care of Kerr. I know you and I would glad take the first shot.
If only Kerr can age as gracefully as Salma Hayek, we’ll all be happy. Hayek still looks remarkably good at 47 years old. It honestly looks like her ass hasn’t aged a bit and I’m literally referring to her ass. She was showing it off all over the place while filming some new movie I’ll likely never see called How to Make Love Like an Englishman. (That’s a funny name for a movie because I have an English mother and filmed a home movie last week that I was going to call How to Make Love Like a half Englishman.)
How many child actors don’t turn into something problematic? Ron Howard is the obvious example, but I’m sure there are plenty like Erin on the other side of the coin. If you’re not sure who Erin is offhand, she’s a chick who appeared in the 1988 movie called The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking. Now 39, it appears Erin still enjoys the camera as her sex tape finally hit the internet this week. How the guy who banged her didn’t make her put her hair in pigtails is beyond me.