It pays to be in the Hottie Index. Just ask Anna Burns. The former Hooters International girl of the year was listed at the #3 spot in last week's Index as we gave some dap to her man Wes Welker for playing in the AFC Championship Game. One week later, Welker is heading to another Super Bowl and decided to celebrate by giving his girl a ring. We're sure it had everything to do with her placement on the Index or at least that's the power we like to think we have here.
5. Vanessa Hudgens
It's been a few years since Hudgens showed some extra flesh on the internet. (We just hate it when celebrities take embarrassing nekked photos and they end up on the internet.) Therefore it should be no surprise that Hudgens was parading around the beach with her boyfriend recently and almost dropped her top. Did she do it on purpose because she knew the paparazzi would be around? And even if the top didn't fall off this time, we sure as hell know Google Images will help us picture what things would've looked like if they did.
4. Demi Moore
Whip-its are supposed to be for high school kids and not celebrities. They're what you do when you can't afford the good stuff or don't know how to find a dealer. Maybe Demi was trying to feel young again, but she decided to hit the whip-it cans this week to feel better about her divorce from Ashton Kutcher. Problem is she just hit em a little too hard and ended up in Rehab, or so TMZ says anyway. If she was really trying to feel young again, she'd get her fake tits out and grow a bush like this pictorial from the old days.
3. Heidi Klum
I'm not exactly sure how Heidi Klum and Seal came together in the first place. A friend of mine recently referred to them as a true life version of Beauty & the Beast. It seems like the Beauty has finally woken up from whatever spell she was under because the Beast has been sent packing. Now things seem right in the world. Despite being a shade under forty and having a few kids under her belt, Klum looks quite fine. The line starts behind me for this one fellas.
2. Megan Fox
It would be most men's dream to end up on an island full of chicks who looked like Megan Fox. Even the thought of such an idea might require you a few seconds away from this Index to recover. Brazilian TV made this fantasy a reality in a commercial. A couple of guys washed up on an island sure, but unfortunately couldn't speak English and the cast of Foxes sent them back to sea. Life is cruel, but the moral of the story is always be able to communicate with the women you're trying to bone. Or something like that...
1. Melissa Satta
No one likes a starfish in bed. It might be every guy's worse nightmare. If a girl is into kinky shit, it could give her a longer shelf life than she might normally have. Some lead to the occasional injury like banging your head too hard against the wall or maybe a burn here or there if things really get taken to the next level. But if you're a professional athlete, you should be able to deal with the general physicality of sex unless you're incredibly soft. Kevin Prince-Boateng sustained a muscular injury that his girlfriend Satta is due to the fact that they have sex 7-10 times a week. This guy can't have sex twice a day without getting hurt? Step it up bro! We'd all take that in a heartbeat with Satta.