Girls
by Mr. T on March 17, 2013

Jennifer Love Hewitt
2013 is officially the comeback year for Jennifer Love Hewitt. She was highlighted earlier in the year for the video that accompanied the promotion of her show “The Client List,” but she’s apparently not done. This week she was voted the hottest Maxim cover girl ever. (I’m not sure I agree, but whatever.) She’s done four Maxim covers and she says she’s ready for more! But that’s not all Ms. “Love Bombs” was up to this week. She also declared that her breasts should be insured for $5 million dollars. Given what she’s made in her career and how she’s been somewhat irrelevant without her 36C tits, I think she should probably be declaring their worth more than just $5 million.

 


Elin Nordgren
Going from a babysitter to Tiger Woods’ wife was obviously a positive improvement in Nordgren’s career. Suddenly she wasn’t just your typically hot Swedish broad lost in a crowd of other hot Swedish broads. And while she may’ve taken a seven-iron to Tiger Woods’ SUV before the divorce, she hasn’t done too poorly for herself since. You see, she’s now dating some 53-year-old coal magnate worth $1.2 billion dollars. I mean Tiger was pretty fucking rich, but damn. Guess Nordgren is quite the money hungry whore, but I doubt old man Chris Cline cares as long as he’s getting a couple bangs a day out from her out of it.

Shiri Appleby
HBO’s “Girls” is definitely a bit weird and shows way too much of the disgusting Lena Dunham naked. In last week’s episode, however, we finally got some attractive nudity when Appleby. She bent over on all fours to take it from behind and then got hit with the money shot on her rack for a finishing act. She wasn’t showing this much skin during her days on E.R. or Roswell, so it was nice to see the her show a more daring side of her. Now if we can only get a fully nude Allison Williams in a sex scene (her dad Brian be damned), then we’ll all be willing to deal with the Dunham nudity a little better.

Nikki Sapp
When you become a dancer for the Miami Heat at age 18, you’re obviously not ashamed. When you start checking out the 18-year-old Heat dancer despite being the 35-year-old assistant coach, you also are not ashamed. Therefore it should be no surprise that the shameless duo of Sapp and Miami Heat head coach Eric Spoelstra have paired up to date. (Spoelstra – you dog! But we love it!) Sapp has since retired from dancing and moved on to running an art gallery, but one can only wonder how many players she was involved with before settling on Spoelstra.

Tamara Eccelston
Bernie Eccelstone is known for being very outspoken against women. He once said “women should be all dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances” when talking about Danica Patrick. I wonder what he thinks about his daughter Tamara, the British socialite/model, being the talk of the internet this week by parading around in bikinis in Miami all week. At least some of the bikinis had a white background, right?

[photo via Loaded]

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