If you’ve graduated college, you’ve probably sat around with your bros and discussed whether or not you’d be better off with a $150,000 education or if you were just handed that lump sum out of high school. As much as I’d like to think that cheating and drinking my way through four years of college was worth it, I’m neck deep in debt at the moment and won’t shake it’s burden until my balls drag on the floor. I’ve also used the corner of my diploma for a joint filter. Don’t tell my mom.
But if you’re leveling with yourself, your grade in Theater 101 won’t have any tangible impact on your life after college, so you might as well spend that cash on something that’s going to drive value for years to come: like a tit job and botox.
An English student named Catherine Byrne has found a way to work the system–by enrolling in classes to acquire the loans necessary to get a pair of fake titties.
Yep, those are faker than Manti Te’o’s girlfriend.
— catherine byrne (@byrne_catherine) August 16, 2015
“”According to Mirror UK,
“There was no way I could save enough money to have a boob job. But when my friend went to uni and told me about her student loan, it gave me an idea.”
Catherine claims said she applied to to study psychology at the University of East London, and after filling out forms was given an $11,000 loan – of which she spent $5,560 on getting her boobs enlarged from B to D cup.
pic.twitter.com/gps79JFINe — catherine byrne (@byrne_catherine) May 15, 2015
— catherine byrne (@byrne_catherine) January 17, 2015
“”
When she failed the course, she convinced tutors that she was simply overwhelmed by the workload and wanted to give it another shot. She was so impressed with how her boobs came out that after she failed the course a second time, she used the same excuse–this time acquiring the money to get botox and collagen pumped into her lips.
She told the Sun:
“I didn’t waste the money on anything silly. To me, it would have been a waste to spend it on boring books. That loan was to invest in my future and that is what I did. I’m probably happier than most of the people who enrolled on that course at the same time as me.”
Catherine is now $27,000 in debt and has no plan to pay it off.
Judging by the look of that boobie job, it looks to be money well spent. Deal with the crippling debt later. Boobies are their own form of currency.
[h/t Mirror]