Girls
by Mr. T on April 2, 2014

 

mckayla-maroney

Our writers search far and wide to let you Bros know when a lady out there needs recognition. Some use Twitter, others have Google news alerts, and the rest do it the old fashioned way. Whatever way you slice it, our boys did good work this week with reporting the news. Here’s a recap of what you might’ve missed.

Lyndsey Fonseca

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The whole internet exploded after Monday night’s finale of How I Met Your Mother. Whether you approved of it should have no impact on your soon-to-be approval of Fonseca, who played the future daughter (a.k.a. one of the kids on the couch) of Ted Mosby on the show. It turns out that nine years later Fonseca is actually pretty hot. She’s now getting tons of attention for keeping the ending of the show secret, which will no doubt lead to more roles on the small and big screen. That sounds quite legen…wait for it…dary to me.

Jessica Pare

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So Mad Men starts back up on April 13th. I know you’re excited, but maybe not as excited as you will get when you see Mrs. Draper in barely any clothing. Pare took off some stuff off for Esquire this month and boy does she look ready for another season of her parading around in the 60s. This is a nice present as while we wait for another 11 days.

Lindsay Lohan

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We tend to all think the same thing whenever Lohan surfaces these days. She was great then and not so great now, but can you deny the heat she brings with those wonderful sweater kittens? I mean fuck, that low angle GIF from her TV show is just tremendous and then there’s a jiggling GIF as well. That perv Terry Richardson obviously knows it’s worth still hanging out with her to see those fucking things. Let this serve as a lesson to never let your woman do too many drugs.

Gwyneth Paltrow

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Some prefer Paltrow with her usual blonde hair, but I’m more of a Pepper Potts red hair guy myself. She also named her kids weird (Apple and Moses ain’t normal), but we’ll give her a break now that she finally dumped that loser Chris Martin. Dude has a cult following with Coldplay, but I’m gonna say Paltrow can do better and she obviously feels the same way now. I just don’t want to take any responsibility if you’re arrested for stalking her in New York City’s West Village. (But she does walk around the area a lot…)

McKayla Maroney

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From something old(er) to something new, we applauded Maroney a few months ago when she turned the street legal age of 18. Now she’s gone the extra mile and started posting bikini photos on Instagram. The older guys on this site probably have girlfriends who get weirded out that they’d love to tap this young’n, but how the hell would you not? She just needs to keep the whole speaking thing to a minimum because I’m not sure I can handle how her voice sounds anymore.

Mr. T

About Mr. T...

Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s fantasy sports expert and resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.