Here's this week's Top 5 Hottie Index…
5. Elsa Benitez
While feeling sexier with age might be enough to attractive some media attention for Reece Witherspoon, it wasn't enough to get her on the Top 5 Hottie Index over Elsa. What's Elsa have on Reece? Nothing but a December birthday and looking a lot hotter, but what else do you really need? You have to celebrate the holidays in style, and there are no women with December birthdays who I rather celebrate with than Elsa.
4. Renee Kohn
I'm sure you have no idea who Renee Kohn is and I obviously didn't either before the display she put on over Thanksgiving. Renee's on TV in San Diego and made sure to let everyone know how to do a perfect turkey call. Fortunately for us, Renee confused a turkey call with a high-quality BJ and made her surrounding cast feel mighty awkward. Good on you Renee. Maybe you can teach a few things to the girls out there who still use teeth.
3. Brooke Hogan
While she may not have the best face, you can't fault Brooke for getting the rest of her assets in gear. She has the kind of attitude every girl out there should have. You have to work at your craft, just like everything else. Now Brooke's slimmed down and her assets looked pretty good in a bikini. I'm sure she'll parlay this into more TV dollars somehow.
2. Kim Kardashian
We've probably done our share of Kardashian coverage on the Top 5 Hottie Index, but she is famous for being famous, right? This week is no different as she announced that she wanted smaller tits when she was younger. Kourtney apparently made fun of her for having big b**bs and having to wear a bra. You look at all the attention Kourtney gets these days because of her b**bs and the whole idea must not seem too bad now. Boobs are only a bad thing if they look like a set of Bisquick pancakes or the n*pples are all sorts of funny looking, but having a C or D cup never hurt anybody. Long live Kim, her big ass, and her healthy size b**bs.
1. Jennifer Lopez
As we've learned from the likes of Brett Favre, Greg Oden, and Tila Tequila, don't put anything on film if you're not ready to handle the consequences. It may have been a long time ago, but J.Lo decided it would be a good idea to flash her va-jay-jay while riding a scooter on the streets of Cuba. Her ex-husband is trying to leak it and she's hoping to have the same success in blocking it as she did with their sex tape.