After an action-packed week of news from female celebrities, we find ourselves back for another round of the Hottie Index. 2013 has been good to us so far, allowing us to bring you fresh faces every week. Sure Kate Upton had a new photo-shoot and banged on the Jets, but we’re retiring her as the reigning champ of 2012 until someone remotely close comes knocking at her door. Does our first lady have a chance to do that? You decide.
You had to know that AJ McCarron’s girlfriend was going to hold a spot in this week’s Index. She took America by storm this week after Brent Musberger gushed over her looks on air and then appeared in thousands of media outlets the rest of the week. At BroBible we mentioned her a good nine times so far. My favorite postings were the ones involving Darnell Dockett hitting on her and her posing for playboy. AJ McCarron won his second national title this week and somehow became second fiddle to his girlfriend. We might as well make it 10 mentions by having her lead our list here. We all know she’s a complete fox.
In non-Webb related news this week, other celebrities were doing other things to get attention. Dawson was rolling through Barbados with her new boyfriend, Slumdog Millionaire director Danny Boyle, when she decided she wanted a full body tan. Those crafty paparazzi made sure to position themselves appropriately to catch Dawson sunbathing topless and snap a pic of one of her boobs. And it’s a healthy looking full boob at that.
MTV’s new show Buckwild is their latest effort to make fun of a certain group of individuals. This time they travel into the backwoods of West Virginia. Of course it’s filled with the type of behavior you’d expect from a bunch of hicks that have never seen the big city, but Parrish’s attractiveness holds up against most girls out there. She just happened to get naked at some point in her life for a modeling shoot. How convenient…
Another month and another porn star girlfriend for Charlie Sheen. The newest girl to jump on uncle Charlie’s lap is Jones. The 24-year-old Jones has shown her assets in numerous films according to her IMDB page, some of which reader’s might’ve seen on a cold Tuesday night in January. We’ll see how long she lasts, but a quick Google Image search will show you everything you need to know about why Charlie’s giving her a few rounds.
If it’s possible, the Hottie Index is ending on a sour note. Swift became recently single again when things with her and Harry Styles of “One Direction” couldn’t make things work. You must be thinking, “she’s single now? That’d be great if I ever ran into her in Nashville.” Sure that’s nice…except if you actually want to get laid. You see Styles broke up with her because she never put out. Then she’ll find another guy, won’t put out again, and then be single again. Taylor, you really need to shape up! Let this be a lesson to all girls out there. We’re not boys. We’re men. If you don’t give us pleasure, we’ll dump your ass for some other broad who will.
[top photo via Moe Jackson]