We’re almost done with February, which means people will soon be enjoying the two best features of the month of March: the NCAA Tournament and Spring Break. Since you’re not down at the beaches just yet, we have quite a few bikinis for you to enjoy in this week’s Hottie Index. There was also a sex swing that was installed by a female celebrity, but when that celebrity is Khloe Kardashian, it definitely doesn’t make the cut.
5. Kim Shaw
In a slow week for celebrity news, I’m going to use the opening spot to unleash an under-the-radar hottie onto the masses. When flipping through channels recently, I stumbled onto MTV and their new show “I Just Want My Pants Back.” Normally it’d be a quick trigger to another channel, but then I saw Ms. Shaw, who is hot enough to keep your attention for at least 10 seconds. She acts like a sl*t on the show, which is never a bad thing. Naturally she’s Canadian, which, you should know by now, is a positive in my book. As my friend Jon Rothstein of the CBS Sports Network would say, “there’s a lot of Elizabeth Banks in Kim Shaw.” The show seems to be MTV’s view of hipster Brooklyn, but is at least five years behind the curve. If only the girls in Brooklyn were like Shaw, then I might actually go to the bars out there…
4. Sarah Jean Underwood
It’s tough to imagine life five years ago without Twitter. It’s a great way to consume information about anything from sports to finance to food, but the fact that celebrities keep tweeting out pics of themselves in bikinis is the real reason why we’ve missed it all our lives. I’m not sure what exactly compels a female celebrity to tweet a picture of herself other than to draw some internet attention, but I’m not complaining. Underwood jumped on board this week and what’s most surprising is the creepy old guy in the pool isn’t checking her out. Or maybe he didn’t wanna be seen doing it on camera.
3. Lauren Anderson
The Tampa Bay Rays' infield is getting really crowded… with hot-ass WAGs. It was officially revealed last week that Evan Longoria is banging a bunny (Jaime Edmondson) and Ben Zobrist has been married to the quirky but sexy Julianna (a country singer) for a little while now. Carlos Pena better step up his game soon because shortstop Reid Brignac has jumped in the fray by taking down Anderson, of July ’02 Bunny fame. It obviously pays dividends to play baseball in Tampa.
2. Rachel McDonald
Back to the whole Twitter thing. While Underwood was a known commodity, Rachel McDonald really wasn’t before this week. Then she drops a picture of her bone-worthy face on Twitter, it gets picked up by a few websites, and now her Twitter account has five times as many followers as it did seven days ago. Let’s have some fun and see how many more followers we can give her after placing her at #2 in the Hottie Index this week. I do have a soft spot (or maybe it’s a hard spot) for the English model because half my family is English, but she obviously delivers the goods. Let’s push her to the top.
1. Megan Fox
I’m not sure I can put it any better than British tabloid The Sun, so here’s the opening quote from their article: “The actress returned to what she does best on holiday in Hawaii — wandering around on the sand in a skimpy two-piece.” You put Hawaii, a bikini, and Megan Fox together and it’s an easy choice for top spot. If only all the girls on Spring Break looked as good as her. Here’s a tip to all the fellas out there: After 15 drinks in 80 degree weather, that part doesn’t matter too much.