Although that’s something you probably knew already, the point here is to take things further. When your average guy tries to pick up a girl, he isn’t really aware of his actions or methods. It’s important to understand that like with everything else in life, picking up women needs an understanding of certain methods along with proper use of so called “pick up skills.”
Your average guy will usually get somewhat tipsy on beer (or some other form of alcohol), get the courage to approach a woman, approach her and then talk randomly to her while hoping for the best. Most of the time, when he feels that things aren’t going his way, he’ll just shout out some rude comments (b*tch!) and walk away thinking all women hate men. If that doesn’t happen, he might just pussy out and become one of her “friends.”
I believe that a good understanding of the female condition, social interactions and at least a marginal understanding of our sexuality can and will greatly increase one’s chances of succeeding with women. That being said, you too, could easily increase your success with women if you make the slightest effort towards understanding what picking up women is really all about.
What Does She Want?
I don’t want to over-complicate things by talking about women’s needs and desires so I’ll try something else. Think about the last hot girl you talked to but never managed to get anywhere with. Is she on your mind?
What made YOU special compared to the last 20 or so guys she met? Do your remember where you met her? Do you remember the other guys there?
How did you stand out when compared to them? Or did you really?
This is one of the most important things when it comes to picking up women and for some reason, men just don’t seem to realize it. If you aren’t putting something particularly unique on the table, you’re going to have an incredibly difficult time at scoring women.
Think about it. Every other dude she meets likes to get drunk, play Xbox, watch sports, go out with his friends etc. Many of those guys are educated and smart. Many of those guys look good. Many of those guys have a ton of funny stuff to say. How can you stand out?
Let’s use sales as an example. When you meet a woman you’re both basically making a sales pitch to each other that shows the other person why you’re attractive, desirable and why the other person should sleep with you.
Women make themselves look more beautiful, they show their compassionate side, dress sexy etc. Men on the other hand, are often confused about what they should do. In truth it’s never more than just being a UNIQUE man. Being a man is all about confidence, security, mental stability and finally not afraid of one’s sexuality (your desire to WANT women). Being UNIQUE is all about standing out from the pack. May it be in the way you talk, the things you say, the job you have, the stuff you do, the places you visited or anything else that differentiates you from the average Dick and Joe.
If you find that the majority of the women you’re pitching yourself to aren’t buying anything, it’s clear that you need to work on improving your product (yourself) and/or work on improving your pitch (what you tell her and how you say it).
The Basic Principles Behind Picking Up Women
I’ll try to quickly run through all of these in this article so you’ll at least know what you have to work at.
Approaching: This is the absolute best way to meet new women. Knowing how to approach is important but just upping the number of approaches is more than enough to increase your success. The more women you approach the more you will bang. It’s that simple. Read How To Know Which Women To Approach – to decrease your rejection percentage and hook up more.
Conversation: Having great conversational skills is absolutely paramount. This is what separates the men from the boys, and without this skill you’re going to have an incredibly hard time relating to the new women you meet. Read How To Improve Your Conversational Skills to help you. To me, 80% of the work is done by my conversational skills.
Getting Physical: Many guys like to call this as “making a move”, I like to call it “getting physical” because that’s exactly what you’re doing. This is the only CLEAR sign that women get when it comes to your attempts to seduce them. She can talk to anyone, but not anyone will try to get physical. Unless you place a hand on her arm, touch her in some way, etc. she'll never know about your true intentions. Kissing also counts as getting physical, although do something lighter to begin with.
Where To Pick Them Up
Another major factor is knowing WHERE to actually go and pick up women. I’ve broken this up in 4 categories and are as follows:
Day Time Venues: Not my personal favorite, but a fantastic way to meet women. Coffee shops are usually the best here but it can work in malls, grocery stores, busses etc. It’s much easier to talk during the day compared to other settings but you’re always going to be limited by time. However, getting phone numbers is much easier since you only need about 5-10 minutes. For a detailed guide on how to pick up during the day read: How To Pick Up Chicks During The Day.
Night Venues: Bars and clubs are my favorite places to meet women because they offer an infinite amount of opportunities. Unfortunately, they also present a decent amount of obstacles in the form of cockblockers and shields. At the end of the day, these places are well worth it, especially if you’ve got game because you can bang the chick that same night. Read a full guide on going out here: The Player’s Going Out Game Plan and a full guide on one-night stands here: How To Score A One-Night Stand.
High-School or College: If you’re still in college or some sort of school you’ve got it made. This is a fantastic place to meet women since you all have a lot of stuff in common (same school, same interests). You can read a full GDI guide on hooking up in college here: How To Hook Up In College – GDI Guide.
Social Circle: Although this is the most common method amongst average dudes, it’s still very effective and awesome, especially if you know what you’re doing. If you’re able to pick up women in the scenarios above, this should be a walk in the park. The only downside is that there are not that many women to bang in any given social circle. For a full guide on how to do it, read: How To Score Chick In Your Social Circle.
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your success with women, visit ThePlayerGuide.com – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window.
[Young couple at bar image via Shutterstock]