Girls
by Jessie Rogers on June 14, 2013

A lot of girls are intimidated when it comes to playing video games in general. I have been playing for a while now, but I never wanted to go public about it because none of my girlfriends were in to that type of stuff and I thought I would get made fun of by guys just for being a girl. Unforunately, this still happens on Xbox Live. Of course some guys thought it was cool, but once I did better than them, they would get all butthurt and make fun of me.

As a female, gamers automatically think you will be bad at video games, so that's what usually discourages a girl from playing. Doesn’t really matter what situation you are dealing with, girls don’t like to be discouraged about anything to begin with. So if you really want to get your girlfriend or a friend that's a girl to play Call of Duty or any other game with you for that matter, here is what you should do: 1.) Don't make it seem as if it is a task. 2.) Don't take it too seriously and let her know she will have fun doing it. Famous last words, but video games shouldn't be stressful

When it comes to getting your girl to play COD with you, my very first protip is to NOT be a try-hard. So if your K./D means more to you than your relationship, you will be bound to run into problems. If you’re stressed about getting kills or planting the bomb in search and destroy and freaking out every time you or her gets killed, you are really going to stress her out if she doesn’t know what’s going on. She will pick up on your vibe and have a lot of anxiety since she doesn’t want to see you like that. Because she doesn’t’ t want to see you like that, she will avoid that anxiety in the future and will probably never going to play with you again.

What you should do instead is focus on making the game fun! Take your mentality back into your little league days, it doesn’t matter who wins as long as you try your best and have fun! Laugh at little kids online with her, follow her around in game, and protect her (…girls like to be protected… lol). All in all, just make it a fun experience by not taking it too seriously, because when it comes down to it, it’s just a video game. There are times to be competitive when gaming, but that time isn’t when you’re with your girlfriend. At least until she starts kicking your ass.

If she doesn’t know how to play at all, teach her and be VERY patient, don't get frustrated if she does bad.

When I first started playing C.o.D I had NO IDEA how to play. It took me a good amount of time to learn. Since I was a big Halo gamer, it didn’t take me too long to catch on. Although C.oD. has a fairly low learning curve if you have no experience with first person shooters, it can be very hard to grasp at first. Assuming that is the case with your girlfriend, you are going to need to be very, very patient. You have clocked in a couple days of gameplay already in Black Ops, so give your girl a break if she is completely awful after her first couple games. Make sure you explain everything to her! She will probably forget since there are so many things, but be patient and keep explaining. Explain how there are different types of classes, what perks are and how they work, explain the difference between tactical and lethal equipment, etc. This stuff may be basic C.o.D. stuff to you, the experienced gamer, but if it’s her first time playing, she probably has no clue what any of those things are.

If she doesn’t like shit-talkers online, don't make her get on the mic.

Also, when it comes to getting her on the headset, you are going to have to be very patient as well. I know you want to show off that you have a girlfriend to the gamer geeks on the interwebs, but girls are shy and throwing in the concept of talking while playing may be a little too much to grasp initially. It also may completely distract her from the gameplay. Once aiming at the same time as moving becomes second nature for her, then you can throw in the headset. Also, as stated in the first tip, don’t get frustrated. You don’t want to leave your girl with a sour taste in her mouth about C.o.D. because you got frustrated every time after you guys played together. That is a great way to keep her away from the controller.  

Make sure that she understands that this is something you do by yourself anyway, so if she starts playing with you, you guys will be spending more quality time together.

Be open with your girl about your gaming. Once you establish that gaming is one of your hobbies and that it’s a way you choose to relax and enjoy yourself, she can either choose to share that hobby with you or at least be supportive of it. Nonetheless, once you make it clear that this what you do by yourself anyways, she will see it as an opportunity to spend more quality time together. Your girlfriend wants to make you happy (…I would hope at least) and if she sees an opportunity for you guys to have fun and spend time with each other, she will take it.

That is why I have stressed in this article to not take the game too seriously and make gaming an enjoyable experience. Once she sees that games aren’t as nerdy as the stigma attached to gamers would suggest and that it is something she can have fun doing also, she will be very inclined to game with you. Like c’mon? Who wouldn’t want to spend time with their significant other and have fun doing it? 

Have her get her girlfriends involved so that she's not the only girl.

Truthfully, this may be the hardest tip to accomplish. Gaming is very intimidating to the majority of girls. Nonetheless, doesn’t mean it is impossible to get your girlfriend and her friends to play. Try to do a trade off of some sort. Tell her and her friends that if they play a couple of games with you, you will go to the mall with them or go get Froyo or let them put makeup on you or something. Lol. The best way is to make it a social event, invite some of your friends, and have her invite some of her friends over (…make sure they all get along with each other, of course). They just kickback and enjoy C.o.D. on your sick 52-inch TV. It doesn’t have to be strictly about C.oD since the game can be played in the background by a couple people while everyone socializes. Once the girls see how engaged people are getting with the game and that they are having fun, they will get curious and want to get involved.

Do some trolling with her so she starts getting used to gamer shit-talking and doesn't feel intimidated by the other gamers anymore.

The gaming community is harsh. Very harsh. Especially once you get on Xbox Live. There are a lot of misogynistic shit-talkers who like to run their mouths. This can be very intimidating for some girls. If you are not familiar with how online gaming works, it is hard to understand why everyone keeps asking you to make them a sandwich. Girls are sensitive, we all know that, so understand how some girls will be terrified of picking up the mic because their first experience talking to “randoms” was filled with raunchy sex jokes and demands to fulfill the most cliché of stereotypes for women.

To help her overcome all of the squeakers and angry men seeking attention online, you are going to need get another mic and help her out. Show her how the online gaming community is filled with trash talking and trolling. Teach her how to not take it personally, help her even dish out a couple of insults to other gamers. Also, be a gentleman and back her up when people try to make fun of her! Not only does it show her that you care, but it shows her that she doesn’t have to deal with some of the weirdos on her own. Once she gets comfortable with talking on the mic, go out there and have some fun of your own. She will get to see how talking on the mic isn’t as serious as it seems and will be able notice that she can get entertainment from the game just by sitting there talking and messing with random people.

Don't pressure her to play again if she's done it once, let her decide on her own if she wants to play more. Girls don't like being told what to do.

Okay, so you got her to play a game. Maybe even a couple. But when she says she is done, she means it. The last thing you want to do is beg and annoy her to play more with you after she already gave it a shot. Not only will she be irate that you are bugging her, but then she is going to think everything she just did wasn’t good enough for you and that you expect way more out of her. What you should do instead is…

Use positive words of encouragement while she's playing and after she is done playing.

Girls are more emotional and sensitive than guys, so any negativity will probably discourage her. Make sure you boost her confidence and she will definitely keep playing regularly.

If you want her to come back begging for more — Call of Duty that is — You got to take on the role of the positive coach! You’ve been training, explaining, and slaying with her, so don’t forget to stay positive in the midst of all this. I know I have said that a lot, but I really mean it! Give her words of encouragement and give her those positive affirmations when she is doing something. At all costs, don’t be jerk. One outburst of negativity or frustration can really hurt your efforts, even after you are done playing. Don’t make fun of something she did when you guys aren’t even gaming. That will definitely make her shy away and feel embarrassed every time it comes to picking up the controller. Make her feel that she is making you happy by playing and doing something right. Boost her confidence! Don’t make her feel bad about whatever she is doing. If she can associate Call of Duty with you being happy and in a good mood, gaming with you is going to become very appealing to her.

Let her try all the games she wants to!

It doesn’t have to strictly be just C.o.D.! I'm sure she will get addicted to one. I know I really got addicted to Black Ops 2.

Everyone is different when it comes to gaming and what they prefer. Your girlfriend is no different. You might love Call of Duty, but that just might not be very appealing to her at first. Don’t stress that you only play Call of Duty or that it's the only game you guys can play together. Girls like options and gaming has a ton of them, so show her what is available and let her decide. One thing I really loved before I got heavily involved with FPS’s was the Xbox Live Arcade and those cute little mini games. C.oD. is very appealing to females and very addicting, so I am sure she will come around once she gets comfortable with gaming in general. In the meantime, show her what’s available! You know your girl best, so see if there are any other games out there that appeal to her interests.

Don’t focus strictly on multiplayer and online gaming.

Some people like myself simply just play multiplayer and don’t care too much for the campaign of certain games. We just want to get straight into the multiplayer gameplay. However, as we discussed, that may be a big step and there are some pretty intimidating factors associated with multiplayer, like all the different aspects and game modes, along with real-life douchebags that talk shit. A great starting point for any first-time gamer, especially in Call of Duty, is the campaign mode. Not only can you set the difficult and make it fairly easy, it is a low-risk way for her to get better at the game. It is not going to hurt your stats or make you lose games online. It's also a great way for her to practice and learn how to aim.

On top of that, the campaign in all of the Call of Duty games is practically a full-feature movie. The campaign has a story — a very good one at that — and will pique your girlfriends interest and make her feel as if she is playing a role in a movie, as opposed to just running around killing people online for no apparent reason. Like I said, girls love choices and once she sees that Call of Duty is filled with a variety of choices she will definitely appreciate it more. Moreover, don’t forget to show her zombies! I know once I at first discovered the zombies game mode that was all I would play. Also, since C.o.D. is a co-op based game that progresses slowly, it is a really great way for just you and her to play and accomplish things together.

Last but not least, show her my Youtube channel… Or at all costs avoid it!

This may appear as some shameless self promotion, but seriously, depending on the type of girl your girlfriend is, show her some examples of girls that game. If your girlfriend is very open to an array of things, show her my YouTube channel to highlight how normal girls play video games. I play video games and post gameplay videos on my channel, but at the same time, I also do other, more girly, things with my time. I consider my self pretty normal. Give her an example that disproves the stereotype that all girl gamers are just nerds and weirdos.

Just don’t tell her how you found my channel so she doesn’t ask why you watch porn and videogame videos on YouTube. Lol. On the other hand though, if you feel as if your girlfriend is the more conservative type, I strongly advise you to NOT show her my channel. The last thing you want your girlfriend to think is that only girls who did porn are the only types of female gamers! Although I am a girl gamer, I understand my past and would hate to ruin or discourage gaming for girls who are a little more close-minded or very conservative. A better alternative to showing her my channel would be to show her examples that are a little less edgy of girls that game on YouTube like “Ijustine” or “Girl Gone Gamer”. Both are beautiful girls, play Call of Duty, and are great examples of normal females who game! The point of doing this is to show her the culture behind Call of Duty and the gaming world and how open it is of everyone. Although fellas may be the majority of gamers, the ladies in the gaming world exist and it is becoming more and more normal as time goes on.

If you got any gaming or relationship questions shoot me a message on my Twitter and I will be sure to give you an answer! Also, Subscribe to my YouTube channel for daily Vlogs and COD videos!

About Jessie Rogers...