Girls
by Mr. T on February 2, 2013

Alison Brie

Brie’s quirky and funny personality was on full display when she appeared on Letterman this past week, but that’s not what first got our attention. The brunette beauty was rocking a nice low-cut blue dress to show off some super cleavage. Then the actress who stars in both “Community” and “Mad Men” told a ridiculous story about how some creepy guy offered to give her a foot massage. If I ever met her, I wouldn’t get into any creepy foot massage offers. I’d just get right down to business and said I wanted to bang her.


Carly McKinney

If you’re a young teacher, you better have your Facebook and Twitter pages restricted from public viewing. These kids nowadays are on that shit so young that they or the school’s administration will find you. Poor Carly was just trying to be her young, hot self (cool with us), but made reference to a student as jailbait on her Twitter account and got found out. The school should’ve been more proud of the fact that she knew the kid was jailbait given how many teachers get caught banging their students these days. She deserved a raise instead of a suspension!


Sarah Hinton

If you’ve played fantasy football, you’ve probably heard of the name Brent Celek, who plays tight end for the Philadelphia Eagles. His brother Garrett is overshadowed by Vernon Davis at TE in San Francisco, but you should be hoping he makes a play or two on Super Sunday. We have to expect the producers in the truck know to show Hinton, Garrett’s girlfriend, if he gets things done. Hinton’s the shining light of Super Bowl WAGs having been a Hooters’ model and looking quite good in those bikinis.

Mellisa Clark

Some of you in the U.S. may be familiar with Page 3 girls, but everyone in England knows what they are. Page 3 girls show up topless on the equivalent page in “The Sun” and use that platform to launch their careers. Every year a contest is held to find the Page 3 girl of the year and previous winners include Keeley Hazell and Lucy Collett, who have done well for themselves since winning. This year’s winner is Clark, who’s 34Cs will surely win her plenty of acclaim going forward.


Christina Milian

It’s been a while since Milian was truly relevant in the music world. She was big in the early 00s, featuring in songs with Ja Rule, Fabolous and having her own singles. She probably made enough money to relax for the rest of her life, but she signed with Young Money Entertainment last year with the hopes of getting a new album out. Until that happens, she’s decided to put out some other things, most namely her nipples. Wearing an interestingly shaped swimsuit while on vacation in Miami, Milian just happened to pop out of her top. Maybe the PR buzz on her new album is beginning.