You can’t go wrong with looks. So if there’s no sex tape or wardrobe malfunction, we’re rolling with the best girls out there. We’ve definitely got plenty of that this week. But then we have a little Instagram fun as well. Lucky us and lucky you. Let’s do it.
You’ve probably seen the end of Georgia’s heartbreaking loss to Auburn at this point. A “should’ve been” interception turned into a Hail Mary victory for Auburn. Aaron Murray, Georgia’s quarterback, was likely upset after the game, but he didn’t pout. No, he did not. Instead, he went home and plowed the shit out of his smoking hot new girlfriend, Ms. McDonnell. McDonnell knows where her bread is buttered. Murray will be warming some bench in the NFL for the next five years, so McDonnell is sinking her teeth in before Murray gets that money. Now, if only Murray ended up on the same team as Christian Ponder, McDonnell’s ex, that would be amazingly awkward.
Speaking of new girlfriends, it looks like Jeremy Piven has one as well. Brook has been hanging out with Piven over the last couple weeks and it seems like they’ve been having a lot of fun. I’d be having fun, too, if I was hanging out with some of the world's best funbags. All Piven wanted to do this week was take Brook out on the deck of his Malibu home and show off the view. And by view, I obviously mean his cock. But the paparazzi got wind and Piven realized he had to keep things PG until he brought her back inside. Good for him.
Jeremy Piven wasn’t the only one trying to show off a nice view this week. Lohan took to Instagram to show her body parts that haven’t been affected by plastic surgery. (That we can tell, anyway…) What girls don’t love taking selfies…of their crotch in a mirror? Oh, that’s not normal? How about having someone take a photo of you in bed smoking a cigarette with a nipple showing after what was most likely a sexual act performed on said person? It’s all in a week’s work for LiLo.
I’m sure the first thing you think of when looking at pictures of Bar Rafaeli is “damn, that’s a pretty ugly mole on the left side of her stomach.” Wait, you didn’t notice that mole because you were too busy dreaming of making love to her face and/or high-quality rack? Yeah, me too. But Rafaeli did have that mole removed this week. And she was back at it real quickly, taking photos for “Pick Up” magazine. You have to reward her for that work ethic.
Continuing the talk of work ethic, it seemed as if Agdal was working hard this week. First, she was in Miami posing in a white dress that just happened to get wet (Oh…darn…). Then, she posed for “Cover Man” magazine. Never heard of it? Neither have I, but it’s huge in Denmark right now. You can hold off on your subscription, though, because the pictures are on the internet. Why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free?