We strive to bring the best looking girls to the Hottie Index, so we had to leave some females on the sidelines this week. Sketchy-a** Terry Richardson took photos of Paz de la Huerta and Lindsay Lohan, but we’ve always seen plenty of those two washed up hens. We’ve seen enough of Miley Cyrus trying to be sexy on Twitter and I emphasize the word “trying.” I saw Jenny McCarthy in Playboy 19 years ago, so there’s nothing new for me there other than some plastic surgeries. And if Anna Farris was going to “flaunt” in Flaunt, I’d expect more skin. Just saying… The following five girls made the cut, so tell us who you think is this week’s best.
Lena Gercke (pictured above)
It’s a sad day in Germany as the soccer team crashed out of Euro 2012 with a 2-1 loss to Italy. Midfielder Sami Khedira at least has the opportunity to drown his sorrows in the arms of smokeshow girlfriend Lena. Word is, however, that it might’ve been Lena’s looks that caused issues in the team. She was asked to tone down her sexiness because there was worry that the other WAGs were jealous and it affected team morale. My response would be to tell the players to find better looking Wags. Don’t take it out on Lena!
The Olympics are about athletic excellence, patriotism, and athletes banging out in the Olympic Village. Rice is getting a head start by letting all the able bodied Olympic males that she’s pretty effing hot and looking to have a good time. She did so by posting a picture of herself on Twitter in a sexy bikini. It’s obviously not the same type of swimsuit she’d be wearing during competition, so she needs to promote her assets ahead of time. And oh by the way, she’s projected to win a gold medal in the 200 individual medley. Australians should feel proud.
Life changes for bros when they graduate college and move into the workplace. School work disappears, days of sleeping in are over, and sorority sisters are replaced by hot cubicle mates. (Just be careful how many of those cubicle mates you take down because one of the most uncomfortable things in life is sharing a four-set cube with three chicks you’ve banged. Just ask my friend Steve.) One saving grace is the company softball team, so it brings great pleasure to see a slampiece like Jenn Brown being able to swing the bat with ease. She took batting practice with South Carolina at the College World Series and the girl can actually swing the stick. Ok, so she played softball for the University of Florida, but don’t ruin this man’s dream that someday we’ll see someone as good-looking and talented as her shows up to my office.
Wardrobe malfunctions are a b*tch. Poor Laura had a bit of an issue with her dress at the premier of Ted this week, where it looks like she may’ve slipped out of her dress a bit, which is all good by us. The sexy Canadian star of Smallville brings looks to the table. This reminds you that Ted will not only be funny but brings a couple good-looking broads to the table in Laura and co-star Mila Kunis.
Schaefer has been all the rage at recent movie premiers in Europe for wearing incredibly risqué outfits. She left little to the imagination, but still there was something covered. The German model decided to go one step further a couple days ago and walk around the streets of Berlin naked. The locals now don’t need their imagination and can use these mental pictures for serious spank bank material.