Maybe all the celebrities were hung-over after the holiday weekend because they did not go above beyond their normal celebrity duties to make news this week. No one slipped out of their bikini top, no one sent inappropriate photos, and no one even did anything in order to create attention. I understand. It’s tough to find the energy in a short week. You’re just killing time until the weekend is here again. And so now it is along with another version of the Hottie Index.
It could be argued that Matt Harvey is the most popular athlete in New York City these days. Sports Illustrated put him on the cover. Yankees fans seem to respect him. Mets fans want to have his babies. Now it looks like Anne V wants to have Harvey’s babies too. The two apparently shared an elevator together after a Rangers’ playoff game and Harvey was smart enough to ask for her numbers. Anne V is getting in pretty close to the ground floor on this one and Harvey gets to date a swimsuit model. Sounds like a pretty symbiotic relationship to me.
I’ll just come out and say that watching some hot chick promote Axe body spray isn’t going to push me to go to the local store and buy it. Maybe there’s some guy out there in the sticks who might be willing to change brands if he hasn’t seen a girl naked in his life. (Or maybe his lack of using anything to clean himself is the reason he’s never seen a girl naked.) Axe is probably working more on brand awareness rather than anything else when they put Brooke in a tight-ass astronaut suit. Definitely can’t fault them for their choice in women. Brooke really does make that material strain as much as possible.
The most surprising thing about a superfan reaching out and smacking Beyonce’s ass while she was on stage this week was not the act itself. (It’s close to a sin not to look at that ass because it’s basically a national monument. It’s only natural for you to lose control of yourself and want to reach out and touch it.) The surprising thing was that the superfan somehow didn’t get thrown out of the show. Beyonce gave him a little lip-service about what he did, but he stayed there. She probably liked it more than she wants to let on.
It’s been a while since we highlighted Gretzky’s Twitter account. Memorial Week was all about celebrating the summer, so we’ll reward Gretzky for enjoying it in style with boyfriend Dustin Johnson. The two were rocking out on boats while Gretzky’s tight little body was almost spilling out of her bikini. It’s no big deal for Johnson to take the week off since it wasn’t a big tournament and that’s the way golf works. He’ll still pull $3 million this year easy. Maybe money doesn’t matter if he wifes up Gretzky, who’s obviously enjoying life on daddy’s bank account.
Given that the Stanley Cup Playoffs are in full swing, it’s only fitting that we include one of the hottest WAGs in recent memory. All good things must eventually come to an end, whether it is the Stanley Cup Playoffs or the marriage of Ford and former Star (no pun intended) Mike Modano. Their house hit the market this week for a cool $2.5 million. No answer yet on whether that’s a dead animal rug in the middle of their living room, but any excuse to show pictures of Ford is a good one.