Kudos to Sarah Silverman, Michelle Trachtenberg, and January Jones. You ladies took some racy pictures of yourself with your cell phone and 'sent em off to some guy you were trying to bone. Unfortunately for you, that’s not good enough for this week’s Hottie Index. A couple of your leaked cell phone mates took things a step further and we’re very grateful for that. Always strive for greatness.
5. Paige Carlin
No one’s gonna confuse Carlin with Heidi Klum if she’s walking down the street, but she’s reasonably decent looking for a college basketball player. (She’s no Sue Byrd, but few are.) The real reason she lands on this list is because of the epic decision she made this week to pass up the rest of the college basketball season. It wasn’t because she was falling behind on school work or had a family issue. This girl wanted to go to Spring Break and rage! Despite being King’s College’s leading scorer, Carlin chose Cancun over the D-III sweet 16. I can’t blame her. It’s f*cking D-III. She’s not gonna be a pro. Talk about someone who has her priorities straight.
4. Jennifer Love Hewitt
Ever dudes in their twenties rubbed one out to Jenny Lovebombs at some point in their adolescent lives. Those t*ts were quite masterful and Internet p*rn wasn’t as prevalent. She disappeared from the public eye and in the few times she resurfaced, it looked as if maybe baby girl had blown up with too many chicken nuggets. Now she’s in the pages of Maxim, but we’re all left to wonder how much air-brushing is involved. What say you?
3. Eva Longoria
At age 37, young Eva is still on the right side of 40, but that window is closing very fast. Boyfriend Eduardo Cruz seemed to notice that and kicked Eva to the curb this week. Then again I ask you, who the f*ck is Eduardo Cruz? Exactly… Eva made this young boy famous. As long as you’re not an NBA superstar (Tony Parker’s numbers this year are fantastic — does it have anything to do with him being Eva-free and knee deep in NBA p*ssy?), you better jump in with Eva while you can. She’s still bringing it for the time being.
2. Olivia Munn
If you want to know why NHL superstar Brad Richards is putting up noticeably fewer points than he did in the previous three years, you need look no further than Ms. Munn. The cell phone pics that were leaked off her phone this week show just how dirty this girl is. She’ll let you do anything to her, send provocative photos to your phone, and even provide instructions of what she likes. A hot chick who has nekked pics appear on the Internet usually wins the top spot on the Hottie Index except when…
1. Christina Hendricks
We see Christina’s b**bs in the flesh. We’ve all known Hendricks has some massive milk wagons, but we never expected to see them uncovered. Egotastic even did the research to prove the pictures were real. Of course a celebrity is going to tell you all the pictures where you can see her face are real, but the one with only her nekkid t*ts are fake. There’s no benefit in her admitting to it. Keep it classy Christina. "Mad Men" fans just died and went to heaven.