All the way back in the Dark Ages, or 1875, Lafcadio Hearn, a journalist for the Cincinnati Enquirer, penned one of the most spectacular "I don't like you in that way," "it's most certainly you and definitely not me" letters that I have ever had the pleasure of reading. It's elegant with just the right amount of "yeah, I am that big of a prick" spite. And it's message... timeless.
The recipient of said letter was a lass by the name of Ellen Freeman, a well-to-do housewife who was having an extra-martial affair with Hearn. For a while they maintained a relationship that included her buying the impoverished journalist lavish gifts, but then one day, Freeman sent Hearn a picture of her wearing a low-cut dress. What ensued for Hearn was disgust at the most deafening level. All I can really say is that this two-timing sl*t had to have been as ugly as this letter is awesome.
The original letter (which is pretty illegible) and it's translation courtesy of the Morgan Library & Museum is below.
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The letter reads:
I do not like the picture at all, -- in fact I cannot find words to express how much I dislike it.You were never physically attractive to me; you are neither graceful nor beautiful, and you evidently know nothing of the laws or properties of beauty. Otherwise you could not have sent me such a picture, as it could only disgust me.Whatever liking I have had for you, it has never been of such a character that I could be otherwise than disgusted by such a picture as that. It is unutterably coarse and gross and beefy. It is simply unendurable.Not that I object to low dresses -- or even to an utter absence of dress, when the unveiling reveals attractions which the eye of the artist loves as something shapely and beautiful. I have an instinctive and cultivated knowledge of what physical beauty is, and anything in direct violation of my taste and knowledge -- like your picture, -- simply sickens me. I have studied every limb and line in the bodies of fifty young women, and more; and know what form is and beauty is. You must not think me a fool. You are a fine woman in regard to health and strength; you are not a handsome or even a tolerably good looking woman physically, and your picture is simply horrible, horrible, horrible.This is plain speaking; but I think it is necessary for you. You cannot make yourself physically attractive to me. Don’t try. I am an artist, a connoisseur, a student of beauty, and it is very hard to please me. Don’t disgust me, please --Yours truly,L. Hearn.
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