Q. I'm about to begin my freshman year at what's generally accepted to be a party school, so I'm preparing to have the time of my life, and understandably so. But. I'm a virgin. I haven't even gotten all that much dome, if we're diving into that. Couldn't tell you why, I've had plenty of hookups/girlfriends. Sh-t just never progressed. Anyway, how much of a turnoff is this for girls once I get to school? Thank ya.
A. Let me ask a hypothetical question to your question. Lets say it’s a Saturday night at this party school of yours, and you’ve lured a little freshman hottie back to your dorm room (complete with Bob Marley poster and weird tapestry that your roommate put up while you were at class). The lights are off and you guys are mackin', probably on your futon, clothes are starting to come off and things are progressing naturally. Would you be all “hold up hold up sexy freshman lady who is right in front of me with her shirt off, before this goes any further, I need to know just how experienced at this no-pants dance you are?” No sir, no you would not.
So, although it seems I digress, my point is that girls won’t be asking this either. I’m not saying you should deceive anyone but this type of info can be on a need-to-know basis. There’s no neon sign on your back that says CAUTION: VIRGIN. Eventually you might find some chick you’re really comfortable with and maybe you’re O.K. with letting her know where you stand, but otherwise, you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. You’ve hooked up with girls before, you’ve had girlfriends, so you know generally how things work and what all is going on as it relates to lady parts. It’s not like you’ve never seen a pair of tits, so there’s no reason you can’t be equally as confident as any other dude.
The main thing to remember is that girls like confidence, but that doesn’t mean you have to be the most experienced dude in the world. You know some stuff and some stuff is more than nothing. Also, you might be surprised to find out there are plenty of girls in the same boat.
Q. So, I've been talking to this girl from school for about three months now. I like her a lot, we have a lot of things in common, and I enjoy hanging out with her, however the only concern that I have is the sex. Well, to be blunt, she is not very good at all, kind of just lays there. To be honest I need some good sex, I've had exes that I guess have spoiled me with some serious adult entertainment-credible sex. So the only real problem with this relationship so far is the sex. She is one of the nicest girls I've met and a real classy broad. Should I stick it out and work on turning her into a sex fiend or should I just move on to someone else who can fulfill my needs right away?
A. The answer to this probably depends on what is more important to you right now: sex or spending time with someone you enjoy. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that once you guys get more comfortable with each other she’ll start to loosen up in bed, and with your guidance might learn some stellar moves. Look at this as a longterm investment. The payoffs might take a little longer, but you could end up with a chick you really like chilling with AND who knows exactly what you like in the sack.
If, on the other hand, you aren’t looking to make a longterm investment and are more interested in immediate gratification (and who could blame you—it's part of the reason I have a love/hate relationship with online shopping), then move on to someone else. The chances of her turning overnight into a secret Sasha Grey are basically zero.