Girls
by Mr. T on April 6, 2013

Hayden Panettiere
I’m still not sure how Wladimir Klitschko hasn’t broken Panettiere in half yet. It appears as if she’s still in one piece and hasn’t suffered any damage to her internal organs despite getting plowed by a guy who’s two feet taller than her. We can tell that by the pictures from her trip to Miami Beach on Easter Sunday in a tiny pink bikini. I can only imagine how Klitschko flips and turns around this broad in bed.


Michelle Keegan
Another week, another celebrity makes an ass out of themselves on Twitter. Or so we thought… Keegan is a celebrity in England for her steady role on “Coronation Street” because soap operas during primetime are a big thing over there. Her Twitter account posted (notice I said her account and not “she posted” a picture of her bare funbags in a bathtub, which were soon taken down. Keegan’s claiming they weren’t hers and that her friend pulled a prank on her. You’d probably do the same. The truth is always somewhere in between.

Heidi Klum (photo above)
Last week Klum made burgers from Carl’s Jr. sexy. This week she flipped her own fresh meat out of her bathing suit when trying to rescue her son and nanny from some rough waves. (I’m not sure why you put some old nanny in charge of a young kid in the water when she obviously can’t handle moving around too well, but I’m thankfully not a parent yet.) Klum went rushing into to the water and just happened to pop out of her top in the process. That’s really the kind of advertising Carl’s Jr. should have been focused on because it might’ve been enough to push us over the edge.


Courtney Stodden
Would you stare at a magazine of corpses if they came with pictures of naked women? I’m not buying, but there seems to be a market out there. So much so that there’s actually a publication called “Girls & Corpses” that featured Stodden naked on the cover. I’m sure there’s some healthy and quite bizarre reading material in the pages of this magazine.

Emma Watson
The internet seems to be rather infatuated with the diminutive Watson. Maybe it’s the connection to the “50 Shades of Grey” movie rumors, but everyone seems to jump all over news about her. In the manner of giving the people what they want, “British GQ” put Watson on their cover and turned out what we’re calling her “hottest photoshoot yet.” I’d say the anticipation is building towards the inevitable heaps of nudity in “50 Shades of Grey,” wouldn’t you?

[Heidi Klum photo via ShutterStock]

Mr. T

About Mr. T...

Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s fantasy sports expert and resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.

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