Q. Valentine's Day. It’s coming. WHAT DO I DO?
A. Hey there! Take some deep breaths. Totally not a big deal. Just a day, just a regular day but with more candy and flowers and the color red, and some expectations. Ain’t no thang. First things first: Plan ahead. Look! You’ve already done that. It’s not even the day of or day before and here you are, thinking about Valentine's Day. Well played. Step 2: Keep it simple — a card, dinner, cooking together, her favorite kind of candy (or beef jerky or something if she’s that kind of lady). If you’re going to dinner, make a reservation now (you aren’t the only one with the idea of going to dinner). Step 3: Flowers! On the day (that day would be Tuesday, February 14 this year, pull out your calendar now, and mark it), give her the flowers, and preferably not at a restaurant because then they are kind of a hassle to transport or deal with at the table. Don’t stress about roses or color schemes. Girls like any flowers. Because flowers are pretty! Step 4: MAKE OUT! YA! High five. And then have sex. Look! You accomplished Valentine’s Day! Well done!
Q. What’s your favorite non-drinking game?
A. How did you know I like games?! It's like you know me. I do love games, both drinking and non. I love Apples to Apples, Risk (the game of world domination, naturally), and Rummy 500. And even though you didn’t ask, I will tell you that I also like Kings for a drinking game. GOOD OLD FASHIONED KINGS. So simple, so many participants. SO MUCH FUN. Did you know there is a Kings APP? THERE IS. Look into it. Bring it everywhere. And when you find yourself at a bar with a slightly random collection of people but no deck of cards, WHIP IT OUT. Everyone will thank you. And no, you are never too old.
Q. My boyfriend is in the military. He has been out of the country for a little over a year. We work very hard at keeping our relationship alive. He recently asked me to send him some dirty pictures and I realized I'm out of ammo. I have taken pictures posed in every way I could possibly think of. I was just wondering if you had any tips or ideas on how to remind him of just how irresistible I am.
A. J. Camm tackled this question in a recent Ask a Bro, but I'll take a stab as well. Sometimes to borrow a trick from the art form (that’s right, art form) known as burlesque, it's more about what you don’t show that can be the turn on. Maybe take a picture of you in his favorite shirt… mostly unbuttoned. A little seductive skin and knowing that you’re still sleeping in his favorite shirt will likely have just as much of an effect as the dirty pics he already has. If that doesn’t work… dudes have short memory and more appreciation for the finished product than we know, so I say recycle some of those poses, maybe throw on some boy shorts instead of a thong this time or a different color. I can guarantee he won’t be complaining.
Q. Can straight, regular dudes pull off a scarf?
A. Absolutely! For most dudes I think a nice wool or cashmere winter scarf is the way to go. I don’t recommend many wraps around your neck. Just kind of throw it around once and let it fall in the where it lays. You know, casual. Not planned. And there you are! Wearing a scarf!
Q. How is it that pretty much every girl takes forever (hours, days) to respond to text messages when I know for a fact they always have their phones with them?
A. We’re playing hard to get! We don’t want you to think we were just sitting by our phones waiting for you to text (we totally were). We want to be mysterious, and elusive, and not overly eagerly available. If you’re a quick responder though, just give her a little time, she’ll adjust and respond on the regular.