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The Final Hottie Index Involves a Lot of Ice Buckets

By / 08.28.14

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As BroBible grew as a website in early 2010, a fellow writer friend proposed the idea of creating the Hottie Index. The idea was simple. Find five good looking female celebrities (I use the term loosely) that were relevant in a given week because of something they did or were doing and put them in a list. Bros love hot chicks.

Five years later, the Hottie Index hasn’t gone away and has been a weekly staple. But all things come to an end. With football season coming (meaning fantasy and NFL pick posts for me) and plenty of other babe content on this website, it’s time that we put the Hottie Index to rest after a great run [Ed. Note: GREAT RUN.]. I’m sure we’ll all find a way to enjoy chicks aged 18 to 50 without it.

More importantly, a month ago my coworker challenged me with the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. His good friend Pat Quinn had recently been diagnosed with ALS and had reached out to former Boston College Pete Frates with the Ice Bucket Challenge idea to try to create awareness for ALS. I made the video and people were a little confused at first.

A month later it’s not just a national phenomenon, it’s global as well. If you’re complaining that Ice Bucket Challenges have jumped the shark, shut up and donate money to ALS. It’s great that this campaign has raised over 50 million dollars in just a month. If you hate the Ice Bucket Challenge, then you hate life.

We end the life of the Hottie Index with the five best Ice Bucket Challenges (involving hotties of course) over the last two weeks because raising awareness for a disease is always a good thing. There are two requisites in my book for a good Ice Bucket Challenge. The first is you have to be wearing relatively normal clothes because wearing a bikinis is a cop out for getting wet. The second is there actually has to be some ice in that bucket. Putting a couple cubes of ice in a bowl doesn’t turn water cold. And with that I bring you the last Hottie Index.

Carla Gugino & Malin Akerman

After seeing as many Ice Bucket Challenges as we have in the last few weeks, it’s encouraged that people get a little creative. Ackerman and Gugino definitely went the extra mile with a makeout (although the girls could’ve given it a little more effort!), which got our attention. I guess Ackerman has a thing for older chicks, just like me. I’d have no problem showing Gugino how someone really makes out with her.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders

Everything is bigger in Texas and that’s exactly how the Dallas Cowboys Cheerlea‎ders did it. The girls lined up in the end zone of AT&T Stadium and they all took the plunge. It didn’t hurt the video that they were all wearing their cheerleading outfits while‎ getting soaked. Now, if only the Cowboys could perform as well as their cheerleaders this year than people in Dallas would really be happy.

Olivia Wilde

A few paragraphs earlier I mentioned that a true Ice Bucket Challenge involves a lot of ice. I’m now about to sound hypocritical, but I enjoyed the fact that a couple celebrities got creative by putting something else in their buckets. We’ll start with Wilde who claims to have filled up her bucket with her own breast milk. She’s got a four-month-old child who she’s breast feeding, so it kind of checks out, but I got a feeling a cow and not Wilde’s breast produced a majority of that milk. Either way, we like the gist of what she was trying to do.

Courtney Stodden

Stodden’s not necessarily one of my favorites due to the perfentage of her that’s real to the percentage that’s fake and how she’s accumulated her status of a “celebrity.” Therefore I highly enjoy the fact that Stodden’s friend pulled a prank on her by pouring chocolate on her instead of ice water. Comedy wins in some cases and Stodden’s still someone that a majority of you readers would pound out, so her spot on this week’s list is easy.

Britney Spears

While it might’ve been more fitting that the last hottie ever on an index was Kate Upton or recent star McKayla Maroney, Spears does the job because I still remember how turned on I was when I saw her “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video. But that’s not why she’s on this list. She’s looking much better recently despite being a mother of two, so that qualifies her to the looks requirement. The Ice Bucket Challenge piece comes from the end of her video because she’s totally dropping an f-bomb as the video cuts out. That’s some real shit right there. Or maybe she heard she won’t be featured on the Hottie Index anymore because it’s ending. Whatever. You wanna…


TAGSthe hottie index
Mr. T
About Mr. T... Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.

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