Girls
by David Covucci on February 27, 2014

couch-jpeg

We here at BroBible (I, David Covucci, am writing this, but am beginning with the editorial we to deflect attention away from the fact that I spent the past two hours of my work day watching porn) are avid consumers of pornography. We also stay well-versed in current events. It’s a unique intersection, because it’s not like repeated viewings of Faye Reagan’s threesome scene in Bree’s Beach Party will help us better understand the geopolitical climate of Eastern Europe, but whatever. We walk our own path.

What I’m getting at is that we knew all too well about the Duke University freshman who is simultaneously starring in adult films, while possibly contemplating trying out for the school’s Ultimate Frisbee team. (It’s okay. We all experimented with weird things when we first got to college.)

Just a few hours ago, an intrepid reader of ours sent in Aurora’s (not her actual name porn name, but the fake one the Duke Chronicle used) Casting Couch audition.

Casting Couch, for those of you unfamiliar with the brand, is a porn studio which pretends to showcase amateur girls as they attempt to break into the trade. It’s  the venue for them to showcase their “body” of work and let big executives watch them on tape (not unlike the NFL Combine, really).

Of course, it’s also a joke. The women are not doing this for the first time. And Aurora is no different. In fact, I’ve seen older, much more amateur-ish work of hers, because this piece needed to be well researched. This video is the opposite. It’s her first professional job, and it’s the first time I’m seeing Aurora all made up (in fact, it looks like she spent some time at whatever the San Fernando Valley version of whatever the DryBar there is. Look!)

dry-bar

(And yes, we’ve blacked out her face because we aren’t terrible people. We just moonlight as them).

So, let’s review this tape. Does Aurora have what it takes to “make it” in “the biz?” Is she the next Alexis Texas or will she wind up as just another entry in the massive database maintained by KeezMovies? (With currently 4,480 people on file!)

Let’s talk. About a lot of things. And not just porn. First off, look at the set up of this place.

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Hardwood floors. A couch that doesn’t appear to be laden with the sweat and jizz of sad, faceless male actors whose lives are dedicated to pretending to be helping people out with their first forays into porn. No. It looks downright nice. Say what you want about Millennials, but like The Washington Post was right: their demands for better workplace conditions is a boon to us all. I don’t feel uncomfortable watching this at all. Which is a big change.

That’s a complete lie. I feel really uncomfortable watching this. While “teen” porn is as mainstream as binging on House of Cards (I’ve certainly clicked on my fair share of “schoolgirl” videos) the genre comes with a mutual shared suspension of disbelief. That girl isn’t 18, and she barely even pretends to be upset she’s in detention. And I know she wasn’t cutting class and is most likely 28. It’s a fair compromise, allowing us adults to indulge in our perversions but also be able to easily whitewash them away (Honey, it’s not real).

But this girl, I know she’s 18. A freshman in college. And while I know it’s been decried by the United States government that it’s perfectly okay for me to watch her fuck a dude, it still feels a little weird. A lot weird.

Especially because I usually blow through the Q&A portion of any porn. Yea, yea, this is your first time and you can’t believe you are doing anything like this but you are also a little excited and somewhat nervous. But I had to watch this one. Again, for research.

Aurora would like to become a women’s rights lawyer after college. I’m all for that, and I think in 2014 (and by the time she graduates in 2018), we’ll have come to terms enough with our sexuality to not allow her background to detract from what she wants to do academically and professionally outside of porn. Hell, HillDawg might be in office by then and bring her on as some sort of liason or czar.

My issue is with her stated desire to be the biggest actress in porn. “I want everyone to know my name.” Not saying both can’t happen. Just that those are just two REALLY big goals. I didn’t dream of becoming an accomplished writer and playing in the English Premier League. I just hoped to not die of alcoholism before 40 (still working on that one).

Hey, do kids these days wear two bras?

double-bra

What the fuck is this contraption she’s got going on? Double bra? It’s not a tank. It’s not for support. Which brings me to another question? Are women in porn allowed to pick their own outfits, or is this something Casting Couch does. Because really? Turquoise acid-washed-y jeans? I dunno. However, I will commend her on her choice of nude heels.

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Far too often do porn actresses wear shoes that are completely unrealistic. I’m never gonna fuck anyone wearing heels that also have a four-inch platform at the base. So why would I want to watch sex videos of someone in those? Even if my (imagined) girlfriend owned a pair, I wouldn’t let her wear them during sex. So kudos to Aurora for bringing realistic expectations of footwear back to porn.

Also, more importantly, look at this dude holding a camera while they do it.

two-cameras

This is just odd.

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Okay. On to the mondo important categories of sex, graded on technique, poise and believability.

Blowjobs: Excellent use of saliva, however, not enough tongue (although in fairness, this was only an 11-minute snippet of what was probably a 30-minute video. This could have been the editor’s fault, but for what they showed of Aurora, I imagine if there was a good tongue scene, it would have been left in). Also, I wasn’t a fan of her eye contact style. A good porn star, when she looks up while blowing someone, will have the right blend of a dirty, depraved yet slightly ashamed and sad look in her eye. Here’s Bree Olsen nailing the look.

bree-olden

Aurora did have that here.

Doggie: Over a dining room table. I think she would have done better had it been in a bed. No real way to prove this. It’s just this one porn viewer’s intuition.

Riding: Excellent technique, excellent eye contact. During these scenes I felt, for the first time, that Aurora was enjoying doing porn. Which is a necessity. I don’t want to think she’s having fun having sex. I want to know that she knows the viewers are enjoying this down the road, which is why she’s enjoying in it the moment. That happened here.

Receiving of an ejaculate: Only saw an edited part here, so hard to judge. It looked like the guy laid a bad load. Not her fault, but she definitely didn’t sell it.

So what’s the verdict?

About three years back I skipped work early one June day to catch Stephen Strasburg’s Washington Nationals debut. He struck at 14 batters in seven innings. In that moment, you knew something special was happening. That an elite talent was before your eyes for the first time, destined for stardom and dominance.

I didn’t feel that here. This doesn’t mean Aurora can’t be an illustrious actress (Lord knows many people have parlayed below average talent with hustle and gumption into successful careers), but as a phenomenon, she doesn’t pass the eye test.

Best of luck, in both porn and life.