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Darnell Docket Would Not Enjoy This Week’s Hottie Index

By / 01.26.13

Gemma Arterton

You’ve obviously heard of Jeremy Renner. He seems like one of the biggest acting commodities in the business these days. But is he enough to get you out to the theatre to watch a movie called “Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters,” which comes out in theatres this weekend? Maybe it helps if we tell you there’s a bunch of violence as they blast through some witches. Or maybe it helps when you realize his co-star is a smoking hot British chick. Arterton has historically had some smaller roles that you’ve probably never seen, but the 26-year-old is blowing up in a big way by being Renner’s side kick who wears tight black outfits.

Sonnie Pachecho

Somehow Renner has his finger prints all over this week’s Index after he had his manhood all inside Pachecho. One can’t blame Renner for using his celebrity status to bang out girls while traveling around the world filming his movies, but he does provide a lesson for all you young bucks out there: wrap it up! While raw-dogging a girl who looks like Pachecho is great and you could do a lot worse as the mother for your child, you probably don’t want to impregnate if she isn’t your current wife. Pachecho’s now carrying around a love child and Renner’s forced to throw down some child support.

Sydney Esaison

Boomer Esaison is known for his support of New York sports on radio and his sometimes questionable opinions on CBS’ football coverage, but did you know he had a hot daughter as well? As the gallery at Bleacher Report will show you, Esaison might be one of the best looking girls on Boston College’s campus. Unfortunately she seems to be tied down with a highly mediocre Islanders’ player. Hey Sydney, strive to do better!

Mila Kunis

I would hope no bro out there has read “Fifty Shades of Grey.” If that was the case, we’d have to revoke your ability to read our website because we don’t want to be associated with such trash. The movie, however, might be allowed for our readers. First Emma Watson suggested she might be interested in a part and now Mila Kunis seems to be throwing her hat into the ring. Just don’t get arrested for tugging one out with your pants around your ankles in the back of a movie theatre when this shit finally gets to the big screen.

Halle Berry

I’ve never thought about the combination of breasts and guacamole, but now that I’ve heard about it I have to admit I’ve kind of intrigued. I’m a big fan of both, so the combination sounds kind of fantastic. Berry inspired the idea when she filmed for “Movie 43” and ended up sticking her tit into a bowl of guac. Berry’s been known to show her great cans before, so that part isn’t surprising, but her surprising the producers with a little extra enthusiasm is just another reason to be a fan of her work.

TAGShottie indexMila Kunisthe hottie index
Mr. T
About Mr. T... Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.

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