Is it wrong that I sincerely hope she was on the rag at the time this happened? Just leaving the pool below looking like a lurid crime scene. I don't think it is, because although this out-of-the-box exhibitionism shows some ingenuity, there's no reason to EVER have sex in water unless a girl's pipes burst. O.K., maybe there are a few reasons (like being able to say you've done this), but it sounds a lot better than it feels. Water is no friend to sex. And no friend to sex is a mortal enemy of mine.

According to Metro UK:

It was the thrill of a lifetime for this couple at an amusement park... having sex on top of a water slide.

'They were at it for a good five minutes before anyone realised what was going on,' one lifeguard said.

They were caught on CCTV as the girl straddled her boyfriend before they hurtled down the shute in Opoczno, Poland. But within moments of joining the 'waterslide-high club', they were escorted straight to the park exit - without even being allowed to retrieve their clothes.

A pool spokesman added: 'This is a family pool and water park and we want everyone to have fun, but not that sort of fun.'

This particular flume must be the least-desired attraction in the entire waterpark because this couple had sex on top of it -- waiting in the chute -- for five full minutes before park security or anyone else took notice. That's absurd, but what's more absurd is where are the goddamn lifeguards at this park? Yeah, these two f*cked and sure the next guy down the slide might unwittingly take a mouthful of j*zz once he hits the pool (which is probably a day ruiner, depending on your appetite for j*zz), but I'm worried about the children here. Kids are literally morons. They need a lifeguard or else they'll fire themselves down that thing one after the next going feet first into the top of their brother's head.