Girls
by Mr. T on April 13, 2013

Miranda Kerr
Models only have a certain amount of shelf life. Eventually their looks fade and there’s some new hot commodity that people would rather see. Sometimes you can push it into your 30s or 40s, but that’s very rarely. Victoria Secret decided to turn the 29-year-old Kerr in for a younger model (pun intended) this week. Or maybe it’s her “difficult reputation” that made her difficult to be retained. Either way I’m not sure where her career can go from here other than down. Lotta kids grew up checking Kerr out in magazines and on the internet. It’s sad day all around.

Ashley Tisdale
I gave up on the “Scary Movie” series a long time ago. Not only do I not really dig scary movies in general, but the whole idea seemed very played out. The whole situation must be bad if they have to get Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan involved just to get publicity. I’m not sure whether they pushed Tisdale to do a Maxim photo shoot this month to pump more PR into the film, but at least that was a good idea. She’s definitely come a long way since High School Musical.

[photo courtesy of Maxim]

Farrah Abraham
There are real celebrities and then MTV reality show celebrities. Obviously the MTV reality show celebrities are a notch below real celebrities because MTV basically made them famous for no reason or owned skill. I honestly had no idea who the fuck Abraham was until all this nonsense about her sex tape hit the internet this week. Her face is a little beat, but she looks like her body would be fun for a few rounds. The sex tape might’ve been staged, but at least she knows where her bread is buttered.

Eva Longoria (photo above)
Life without Tony Parker must be pretty lonely for Longoria. He’s crushing it with the women at the clubs and Longoria hasn’t been doing much of anything. She decided to stir up some interest in herself by casually adjusting her bikini top and exposing her tits to the world. She obviously knows she’s being tracked by paparazzi at all times. Hell, she might’ve even told em what she was gonna do.

Luisana Lopilato
Michael Buble has a voice that the ladies love. It must’ve been what helped him woo his Argentinian beauty of a wife. He must be proud to show her off because he had no problem letting her pose in lingerie when she was 4 months pregnant. And before you say, “shit you’re showing me some chick who is four months pregnant?” just take a look. Now you’ll be saying, “SHIT, how is that chick four months pregnant???”