Unbeknownst to most of us not entrenched in the world of fetish sex, controversy has been brewing this week about one young star's decision to lose her "virginity" — live, tonight at 10 p.m. ET, on Kink.com's TheUpperFloor.com. Her name is Nicki Blue, she's 21 years old, and she's an up-and-comer in the videos and live-streaming shows devoted to fetishes like bondage and domination. But here's the thing: Although she's had plenty of an*l sex and oral sex on camera, Nicki's never once had her vag*na penetrated. She says that her hymen, or corona as it's technically known these days, is in tact. And the event has stirred quite the controversy.
In a recent video (NSFW link), Nicki explained to those watching:
I have a d*ldo in my ass and it feels really good. I can answer you, sing to you, do a bunch of scenes for you, but if i put a d*ldo in my p*ssy, it'll break my hymen, and then I'll lose my virginity to a toy, which would be really kind of not good, because I'm saving for my virginity for something special.
That something special will take place tonight as members of TheUpperFloor.com get to choose between which of three guys will get to de-flower Nicki. "It's kind of like Christmas: which cock gets to take my virginity," she says. The livestream will begin with a "hymen-cam" check by a trained expert of whether she's a "true virgin."
And therein lies the controversy. Kink.com's original press release has come under criticism from colleagues in the BDSM world because of the way it defined "true virginity." Critics argued (NSFW link) that the breaking of a girl's corona has little to do with the loss of her virginity, and that the act of a pen*s entering a vag*na is not the only act that de-virginizes a girl. Yesterday, the founder, Peter Ackworth, posted (NSFW link) an apology of sorts:
Sexuality and adult entertainmentography are very charged topics that mean extraordinarily different things to different people. No matter what choices one makes as a adult entertainment producer, there will be critics. At Kink, we realize that what we do isn't for everyone and we're okay with that. But we also pride ourselves on our ability to truly listen and recognize when we've made a mistake, as we did recently with the way we marketed the "deflowering of a virgin" on The Upper Floor.
Several months ago, a young lady named Nicki Blue approached Kink with a very specific and determined request — to be penetrated vag*nally for the first time in front of an audience and broadcast it live on the internet. She had already been exploring her sexuality quite extensively, including anal and oral sex, but she had reserved her vag*na — with its corona in tact — for the moment when she could live out this particular fantasy.
I was extremely honored that Nicki felt that Kink was the place where she could be comfortable acting out what had been a longstanding and powerful fantasy — one that hinged entirely on her concept of virginity. A concept that was not worded in a medically factual way, but nevertheless has profound sexual meaning for her and many others.
A lot of discussion and thought was given to whether holding this kind of event fit into Kink's mission — to demystify and celebrate alternative sexualities by providing the most ethical and authentic kinky adult entertainment. We debated internally for months, but finally came to the conclusion that we are in the business of fantasy fulfillment and that we could help her have the experience she was looking for in a way that would be positive for everyone — Nicki herself, the gentlemen she would be acting out the fantasy with, and the members with whom she would be sharing this experience.
Instead of showing our gratitude to Nicki for choosing Kink to fulfill her sexual fantasy — to break her hymen during her first vag*nal sex experience in front of thousands of fans — we marketed it in a way that relied on sexist tropes and myths about the female body that we should not have perpetuated. And that fact was rightfully brought to our attention by bloggers who hold us to a much higher standard than that. We truly thank them for it and are gratified to see issues surrounding female sexuality, virginity and sexism being discussed in public forums —even if it was as a result of our screw up.
The controversy also sparked some very serious internal discussions at Kink about where things went awry, what our values are as a company, and how we can do better in the future. For now, we're 100% committed to helping ensure that Nicki's first vag*nal sex experience on Saturday is an amazing, unforgettable experience for everyone involved. We hope to see you there.
Needless to say, the de-flowering will proceed tonight, and Nicki couldn't be more excited:
I'm not gonna be sad because my career has been on hold for the last three years because I've only been able to go so far and I just can't wait to finger myself and use toys. After being around Kink and looking at all of the different machines and toys, I've been like, Holy f*ck, what have I been missing in my p*ssy all these years. There's so many cool things you can do. I just can't wait.
Ladies, what do you think of these varying definitions of virginity? And guys, is this something that you'd pay to watch? Sound Off in the Comments...