Hopefully your Memorial Day weekend wasn't quite as eventful as ours. Nonetheless, a lot of stuff happened over the past four days and we've got a little bit of catching up to do. We got your back, Bro. Here's a few things you may have missed while offline, cooking out and enjoying life and freedom during this beautiful "first" weekend of summer. To those who made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could have beers with friends and family on a sunny weekend, thank you. This photo of Soldier's National Cemetery in Gettysburg via Flickr sums up everything better than we can do with the limitations of language. Ready? Let's do this.
- Jim Tressel resigned as head coach of Ohio State Monday morning. George Dohrmann's must-read story in this week's Sports Illustrated is cited as perhaps the impetus of Tressel's Memorial Day departure. The story claims that at least 28 players allegedly traded memorabilia or autographs for money and tattoos since 2002. Nine players are on the current Buckeye roster. During Tressel's 10-year tenure at OSU, he's eight BCS game appearances and a national title in 2001.
- Meanwhile, this: (via Reddit)
- Virginia men's lacrosse beat Maryland 9-7 on Monday, marking the team's fifth National Championship in program history and first since 2006. Highlights:
- In case you missed it, you absolutely must watch the incredible last lap of the 100th Indy 500. Greenhorn J.R. Hildebrand looked like the obvious winner until he slammed into the wall on the final lap. Dan Wheldon overtook him and ended up his second race in Indianapolis
- Before the Indianapolis 500 Top Gear‘s Tanner Foust lands an awesome, world record-setting 332-foot jump in a modified Hot Wheels Pro 2 truck.
- Jimmie Johnson’s crew chief dropped an F-Bomb during the NASCAR Coca-Cola 600. Amen brother. Amen.
- On Friday legendary poet, spoken-word artist, musician, and hip hop founder Gil Scott-Heron passed away in New York at 62. Read the New Yorker's great 2010 profile of Scott-Heron. Youngsters, if you're unfamiliar with this legend, listen to these two track sequentially:
- Florida Gators pitcher Brian Johnson got pegged (and knocked the f-out) by his own catcher in the first inning of Saturday's game against Georgia. If you watch closely, it also looks like the batter tried to trip the catcher when he went for the throw to second. Scary stuff.
- Jed Mildon landed the world's first recorded BMX triple backflip in New Zealand.
- Steven Stamkos, anyone?
- Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) allegedly tweeted a photo of his schlong to a 21-year-old girl from Washington state late Friday night. Common belief is that the congressman’s Facebook page and Twitter account was hacked. Insert Weinergate joke here. If you really want to see the photo in question, (a. why?, (b. why?, (c. Google Image search it.
- Speaking of hacking (notice the theme going on here?), PBS was hacked on Monday. The hackers published a fake story about Tupac being alive in New Zealand.
Prominent rapper Tupac has been found alive and well in a small resort in New Zealand, locals report. The small town – unnamed due to security risks – allegedly housed Tupac and Biggie Smalls (another rapper) for several years. One local, David File, recently passed away, leaving evidence and reports of Tupac’s visit in a diary, which he requested be shipped to his family in the United States.
- Dodger Stadium caught on fire during the sixth inning of Friday night's game against the Florida Marlins. No one was injured.
- This guy shot at private plane just sitting on a runway in Phoenix. Is anyone surprised?
- 18 horses in Los Angeles were diagnosed with herpes. "Humans are not at risk of contracting the virus, for which there is no vaccine." -- LA Times. Must-watch news story below.
- The Twins won on Friday with a walk-off single in 10 innings. Then a guy ran on the field in a bunny costume. That is all. Via Cosby Sweaters
- This happened at the Jefferson Memorial. I'm all about getting your dance on, but do it at a Disco Biscuits show or something, no? Thomas Jefferson probably doesn't give two shits about how badly you can cut a rug. Read about it at WTOP
- More May FAILs than you can shake a stick at.
- You wish this guy was at your party this past weekend. Warning: Swag alert.
- "50 State Stereotypes In 2 Minutes" -- The Maryland one will make Marylanders furious. Everyone knows Maryland's famous for crabs, not lobster, bro.
What'd we miss? We've got a lot of ground to cover over the next few days, so send tips to firstname.lastname@example.org