Girls
by Will Levith on December 13, 2013

But some parents mark their daughters for future hotness — and don’t even know it. You’ve got to admit it: Some girls’ names are way hotter than others’. You see a specific name in a magazine or web video or TV show, and it just pops out at you. You’re like, “Yeah, that’s a hot-girl name, bro.” And 9 times out of 10, it’s the perfect fit.

So I put together a list of the 20 Hottest Girl Names (in no particular order), along with how they’re defined in our minds. I guarantee I’ve missed loads of them, so fill up our comments section with your picks. Disclaimer:  If you take offense easily, you might not want to read this post. Probably because your mom’s name is on it, and I just said she’s hot. 

1. Laura – My wife’s name, of course!

2. Jessica – This is a good-girl name — but the “good girl” from Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines.”

3. Heather – We get flooded with images of ’70s feathered-blonde hair, porn stars, rattlesnakes, empty bottles of liquor, matchsticks, and exercise models in spandex all at the same time.

4. Brooke – If it ain’t Brooke, don’t fix it.

5. Lindsay – This is sort of a party-girl name. Lohan included. Think about that girl in college that would always just say, “Fuck it,” and do another keg stand, even though she was, like, 85 pounds.

6. Chloe – Euro-trash, all-girls school, leopard-print tights, Sunday tea, cocaine nose, James Taylor, monotone voice.

7. Megan – Sporty, spunky, funny, friendly.

8. Sky (variations) – Far out, just like her name.

9. Kendra – Hungry like the wolf.

10. Molly – Farm girl you could bring home to mom and dad. She’d serve you breakfast in bed.

11. Sunshine (variations) – Always cheers you up when you’re depressed. No matter how much money you just lost on the ponies.

12. McKayla – Does back-flips and somersaults in your living room. It freaks you out, but you’re like, “Whatever, bro. Sign me the fuck up.”

13. Heidi – Smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish, won’t be there in the morning. You’ll cry all day.

14. Gisele (or variations on that theme) – Rich, foreign, and thinks Tom Brady has a small penis. Don’t we all?

15. Kate/Katie – Slick, sly, salty, and salacious.

16. Julia (variations) – Prim, proper, proud. Thinks you’re a pussy, but you keep coming back for more.

17. Haylie (variations) – We’ve never even seen a picture of Eminem’s daughter, but we can predict that she’s probably hot based on her name alone.

18. Britney (and variations) – Spears has still got it. Spunky, jailbait-ish, will wear you out.

19. Rachel (variations) – Nice Jewish girl with dark, dirty side.

20. Mary (variations) – Good Catholic girl. (But all Catholic girls are really bad, too, right?)

(Editor's Note: These are Will's hottest girl names. We're guessing he's never been with a woman from Eastern Europe.)

[Image via ShutterStock]

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  • Jon

    This is more like a list of stripper names.

    • Chloe

      how are these stripper names…

      • Marc

        says #6