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It’s F’in America Time. Get ready.
Yep, the Olympics are almost here. So obviously it’s time to get decked out in your most ridiculously bodacious American gear. In celebration of this most holy of events, what else would the fine folks at Chubbies Shorts do than make the most ridonkulously BOOMSHAKALAKA-worthy Chubbies known to mankind? Introducing the ‘Mericas.
And now we’ve got some Facts to tell you ‘bout the ‘Mericas. Comin’ at ya with some knowledge to be dropped like an A-Bomb.
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FACT #2: Improves every Olympic lift by 45X. I can now squat 20,000 lbs. Truth.
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FACT #3: The American economy is now on the upswing solely because of these shorts, you’re welcome Obama.
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FACT #4: Every other country on earth is jealous of these bad mamma jammas. The crazy nastyass ‘Mericas don’t care, it’s not their fault they’re the sickest things on the planet.
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FACT #5: If your father had worn the ‘Mericas prior to your conception, you would have 14 identical twin brothers.
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FACT #6: DO NOT Tread on these shorts - we will only warn you once.
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FACT #7: Makes each and every owner faster than Usain Bolt... when running backwards waving a 300 lb American Flag.
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FACT #8: These shorts are the world’s first fully-functioning, NASA-approved boobie magnet.
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FACT #9: These babies are 10,000% made in the USA.
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FACT #10: You need these shorts, COMIN’ AT YA!. FREEEEEDDDDOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!!!
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