Gear
by Reggie Noble on September 23, 2013

Here’s an eyeball-burning look back at several regrettable looks that found their way into the low post.

Patrick Ewing

Oh, boy. Who wouldn’t want a little hanging ball thing bouncing around when you’re running up the court? That’s just sensible design right there. A more practical innovation would have been incorporating some sort of sweat-wicking capability. No one in the history of mankind has ever shed more water during physical exertion than Ewing. Hall of Fame glands!

Joakim Noah

Noah’s a weird dude and these are weird kicks. That’s really the only positive here. 

Tim Duncan

Black and white and ugly all over. These duds actually had a skeletal foot on the bottom, serving as a reminder that living fossil Duncan is still playing – and excelling – in the NBA against all odds. 

Hakeem Olajawon

I found this on eBay. What sick, deranged person would buy a used – and trashed – pair of The Dream’s numerical-heavy shoes? Full disclosure: my dad wore these when I was in high school. It may shock you to find out I wasn’t one of the popular kids. {pagebreak}

Kevin Garnett

Ok, so he’s not technically a center right now. But he has been in the past, and I would be remiss if I passed on the opportunity to remind you of this monstrosity. The very fact that these exist is definitive proof ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Shaquille O’Neal

This guy really requires his own post. His ability to strap hideous footwear on and miss free throws is otherworldly. Selecting just one of his many inexcusable looks was a fool’s errand. In the end, though, it’s hard to beat* these zebra-themed classics. It’s also surprising EastBay was able to put them in a youth-targeted magazine. Pretty objectionable material. 

James Duckworth

Just seeing if you’re paying attention. 

Gheorghe Muresan

Hey, those aren’t even basketball shoes!

Thanks for looking at those pictures, you guys. If you let me know about other terrible shoes that have graced big feet over the years, I will update this post. This is an important topic and we should all give it some thought.

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