According to The Star:
Oracle Corp. CEO Larry Ellison is closing in on a purchase even lottery winners can only dream about — 98 per cent of Hawaii’s pineapple island, Lanai.
Ellison hasn’t said what he plans to do with the vast majority of the island’s 141 square miles, but the sellers say he plans substantial investments that will create jobs and stimulate tourism to the island once owned in the 1920s by the founder of Dole Foods Co.
With nearly 50 miles of coastline, two resorts and zero traffic lights, Lanai boasts plenty of unspoiled charm. Tourism officials tout the luxury at its Four Seasons hotels and rugged rural areas that can only be reached by vehicles with 4-wheel drive.
If all goes as planned, most of the island that is home to 3,200 residents and near Maui will be owned by Ellison — the world’s sixth-richest billionaire, according to Forbes.
The outspoken Silicon Valley software magnate is known to race sailboats and make occasional unusual purchases. He once, for example, bought a tennis tournament to keep it in the United States.
You keep doing you, Larry. And should you feel that part of “doing you” is adopting a foul-mouthed writer in dire need of retirement to be your golfing buddy on the island of Lanai, then well, I can be that writer. I can be that golf buddy. I can bear that hellish cross for you.