Has your girlfriend been naughty or nice this year? There’s no way a bro would get himself into a monogamous relationship and slap the girlfriend label on a woman unless she was phenomenal in bed. So that answers that question. Appease her inner-sex goddess with a gift that can’t be opened at your family’s holiday gathering.
You most likely will be getting this gift as a sexy add-on for what you have already purchased. I know budgets are tight for those of you in college or living paycheck to paycheck to pay the rent so purchasing two gifts may sound impossible. Don’t fret. Below are five options from free to $30 that will ensure that Santa’s sack isn’t the only one getting all the action this Christmas Eve.
$30 Gift Idea
Victoria’s Secret is like the mecca for hot girls to do their lingerie shopping. But getting a gift card is for quitters. I understand that the idea of purchasing her a bra with matching panty is overwhelming. You probably got the A,B,C,D thing down but what about the 32,34,36,38? Push-up? Demi? Underwire? What? And how in God’s name is this bra nearly $80? Are these rhinestones or diamonds? Let’s simplify. This Lace Halter Baby Doll looks ah-mazing on and is only $29.50. Just choose your favorite color and fulfill your dream of sleeping with a VS angel.
$15 Gift Idea
Bringing a toy into bed with you does not make you any less of a man. In fact, it’s really hot and more guys should be willing to experiment with it. I get that full on dildos are scary and emasculating so get her a Bullet Vibrator from Spencer’s instead. Hold it up against her while you are having sex and she’s about to orgasm. Boom. It will tip her right over the edge and leave her begging you for more.
$10 Gift Idea
Give her a sexual flavor for the next time she gives you a sexual favor. Masque Oral Strips conceal the taste of semen with more enticing flavors like mango, chocolate, strawberry and watermelon. It’s almost as if you gift wrapped yourself a blowjob!
$5 Gift Idea
Cocktail Flavored Lube for your cock. Make your own happy hour together with these O-Yes Sweet Body Shots of personal lubricant. They come in six girly flavors that she loves like Strawberry Margarita, Cosmo, Pina Colada and Appletini. Yum.
$0 Gift Idea
Before we get into this, please do not create a lame “sex coupon” and include it in your card. That is so creepy. Instead, mention when you are both out how badly you want to get her home so you can give her the second part of her present. When no one is looking, kiss her neck, bite her ear or slap her ass. Tease her until she’s at her wit’s end and when she gets home take her by surprise by only pleasing her for the first fifteen to twenty minutes. No 69ing. Don’t let her touch you. Make it all about getting her off. Again, yum.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
Disclosure: Giving a gift that makes her feel sexy and desirable will indirectly serve in your favor. However, the above suggestions should be a small add-on to your existing present and not the replacement of your girlfriend’s gift. If you chose to give the $5 personal lubricant from CVS after months or years of dating, prepare to be bitched out, potentially slapped or single.