5 Pairs Of Mens Jeans Every Bro Should Have In His Closet

Denim is the life blood by which we live. It’s the air we breath, the water we drink…you get the picture.

If it weren’t for mens jeans, we’d all be dressing up our sweatpants with blazers and ties, and looking like fucking douchebags. But there are still bros out there who cannot tell you what specific kinds of jean they need to fit their bodies.

Is your momma so style illiterate that she couldn’t teach you slim fit from a regular? Do you know what a bootcut jean is? No need to get defensive, it’s all in good fun. And we’re here to teach you about what kinds of mens jeans you should have in your closet.

Regular Fit

If you only have enough money to keep one pair of jean in your closet, make it a regular fit. These are easy to spot at the store, because if the tag says anything besides regular fit — spoiler alert — it’s not. Most men wear regular fit because these are the standard fit. There’s enough room in your crotch for your junk to move around without getting overheated, while it rests lightly against your but.

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Slimmer Fit

The great thing about mens jeans nowadays is that there are so many different cuts to fit any kind of body type imaginable. The bad thing, you need to put in a little bit of effort and learn which ones are great for your body. However, every bro should have one pair of slimmer jeans in their wardrobe. How else are you going to dangle the proverbial carrot in front of the ladies?

Though, not all slim jeans are created equal. There’s two main kinds you should be aware of — the “slim fit” and the “skinny leg.” Basically, you should get the former if you’ve got a great ass and/or thighs, and you should get the latter if you have chicken legs. You’ve seen those kind of guys with massive calves that are ready to burst out of the skinniest of skinny jeans, right? Don’t be that guy.

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Bootcut

This one is really easy to remember: bootcut jeans are for when you feeling like slipping on — you guessed it — boots! How do they differ from the others? They’s usually pretty narrow and flare out at the bottom to accommodate the chunky shoes. These should not be your standard pair that you wear until they rip in the seams or crotch. The trend now is to keep as slim as possible to give the ladies a tease of what you’re packing. So reserve these for cold, wintry days when you feel like going out in your Timberlands.

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Dark Denim

There once was a time when lighter blue jeans were the standard. But I think that was back when Kevin Bacon was shakin’ it off in Footloose. Dark denim is the standard color for the past few years. You must be familiar with “dress it up or dress it down,” but the concept applies here. Despite the casualness of mens jeans, some are wearing the darker denim with blazers, ties and wingtips to for job interviews and uppity occasions, though never wear jeans to weddings, gents. Throw in a simple but dressier watch, like Timex, and you’ll be snatchin’ up the ladies like Bond.

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Black- or Khaki-Colored Denim

When wearing mens jeans, the one thing you must avoid is the dreaded Texas Tuxedo. We get it, sometimes you want to be goofy, but you won’t be impressing any woman when your style game is on par with Larry the Cable guy. So, if you wanna wear that denim jacket with your jeans, snag a black- or khaki-colored pair.

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NEXT: 12 Types Of Shoes Every Man Needs In His Closet