San Diego Charger great, LaDainian Tomlinson is looking to dump his sprawling $3.5 million dollar mansion, which is equipped with a secret room, basketball court, gigantic putting green, and more. And I’m sitting here thinking if some asshole can get people to donate $40,000 for him to make fucking potato salad, then the masses can help me scrape together $2.9mil to buy this house — that’ll be the final price once I haggle the living shit out of him, which is even more of a reason as to why you should donate to my cause.
So what do you say? I start a Kickstarter, and everyone without a living brain in their head donates to me? I’ve spent the last hour trying to poke holes in that plan and I’ve finally given up, because it’s impossible.