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In the mid-'50s, a company called National Hygenic used Ted Williams to sell condoms. The unauthorized image was taken from a Topps baseball card. Ted—much like Honus Wagner decades before him—didn't know he was the spokesman for something so awesome. So the run was limited.
Now you can own a little piece of Teddy Sexgame. An eBay seller is selling some of the rare packs for $299, and bidding will run 'till next week. Use 'em to bag a dime like a true greaser, or, you know, don't, because these rubbers would probably pass along some sort of skin disease.
Bushmills Irish Honey Whiskey, $24.99
Bushmills' newest flavor is Irish Honey, a moderately sweet whiskey that works as a chilled shot or over ice. (Wouldn't recommend combining with a cola.) And like any good booze, it'll get you surprisingly drunk: The Irish Honey is 70 proof. Which is pretty fucking strong for a flavored whiskey.
I AM THE ONE THAT FRESHENS.
(This is a real thing.)
Curb Laptop Stand, $12.99
An overheating laptop sucks. It kills your battery, it kills your computer, it lights your junk on fire. No, really. Playing SimCity on a laptop has probably burned off at least one set of testes.
So meet the Curb. It's a triangular bar that raises your laptop enough to increase airflow to the machine's circuits, preventing your comp from reaching ball-bursting temperatures.
Also this is nice: Since Curb is essentially the only player in this industry, it probably could've doubled that current asking price. Cheers for cheap products.
Nike Air Pegasus 83/30, $100
Nike's oldest running shoe gets a fall update. New colorway, same retro design.
GoPros have been used to create some of the Internet's coolest videos over the past few years. If you've spent more than a week on BroBible, you've probably seen a dozen. The camera's new edition features video resolution up to 4k, built-in WiFi, and a little voice that'll stick in the back of your head: "I need to take up kayaking."
Announced at the Great American Beer Festival last night, Ommegang's third Game of Thrones-themed beer will be released next spring, just in time for season four's premiere. Its label sports Khaleesi's dragons. It would be nothing without those dragons.
2015 Cadillac Escalade, $TBA
Once upon a time, the Escalade was the most popular car in the country to steal. Those happy days are gone, though, thanks to the SUV's waning popularity that's totally not due to $4 gas. But the monster is making one more push for relevance with a leather and wood interior, Bose Active Noise Cancellation technology, an eight-inch center screen (and GPS), and a 460 lb-ft torque 6.2-liter V8 engine. 2002 is here again.
Fitbit Force, $130
Like its previous models, the Fitbit tracks your steps, the distance you've traveled, and the quality of your sleep. The Force adds in Bluetooth capabilities, an improved blue OLED screen, and a stopwatch, which strikes me as something that should have always been necessary.
Two music legends saw their childhood homes go up for auction this week. Kurt Cobain's Aberdeen bungalow is going for a little more at half a mil, even though it's only worth $80,000. (Nirvana practiced in its garage and the walls contain a few Cobain scribblings, so that's driving up the price.)
Meanwhile, Em's Detroit house had a minimum bid of $1. Yep. $1. It's a fixer-upper.