There's a classic New York Post story in the New York Post today about bachelor pads. Here's the gist: If you have a nice apartment, women will sleep with you. Groundbreaking, right? The story leads with comedian Jim Norton, who unleashes this gem: "I remember another woman … I knew she was impressed with the place and decided to sleep with me. I gave a horrible [sexual] performance. She walked around the apartment a couple of times before she left — almost reminding herself that this is why she just put herself through that.”

Here's a breakdown of the perfect panty-dropping apartment, according to the bachelors in this article:

On Floor-to-Ceiling Windows:

"Women see windows — and skirts come off."

On Real Estate Porn:

“In New York, when you say adult entertainment, more people are likely to think you mean real estate,” says John, a multimillionaire financier who asked that his real name not be used. “Every two-bit banker at Goldman Sachs can buy you an expensive dinner or have a $175,000 Ferrari, but how many can have the $10 million trophy pad?”

On Letting Friends Borrow the Pad:

After letting a London hedge-funder borrow his flat for a few days, the financier reported that his friend was able to score every night with three women (though not at the same time). “He told me: ‘They were excited when they got to the door — and when they saw the view, it was a done deal.’ ”
 

On Apartments Lending 'An Air of Domesticity':

“We’ve gone from trophies that scream ‘bachelor pad’ to ones that scream, ‘There’s room for both of us here,’ ” says John. Indeed, while Norton has a stunning state-of-the-art kitchen, he never sets foot in it to actually cook. He even keeps clothes in the oven.

On Elevators:

For Ralph Sutton, 41, the appeal isn’t so much his Midtown West apartment, but rather his elevator — which opens straight into his loft. “If I wasn’t a single man, maybe my wife and I wouldn’t pick this apartment,” says Sutton, of radio show “The Tour Bus” and allaccessapp.com. “But being single, you want a place you’re proud to bring a girl home to. I think a guy who lives on the top floor of a sixth-floor walk-up better have some immaculate game.”

On Why 'SoHo is Sexy':
 

When [Jaf Glazer, a SoHo real estate broker,] describes the neighborhood to prospective (male) clients, he emphasizes that the district is teeming with models and beautiful women. He knows they’re on the hunt — and not just for real estate. “The spaces in SoHo we represent often fulfill the void people have in their life,” he says.

Read the full story over at NYPost.com. What features of your Bro pad make the ladies drop their skirts? Sound Off in the Comments...