We're on the cusp of revolutionary technology. According to the New York Times, a pair of Google-made glasses that stream information to the wearer's eyes will be available to the public by the end of the year. As if people weren't already entirely too reliant on their smartphones.
The glasses will feature a small screen replete with 4G data, sensors and GPS. The user will navigate the device by, get this, tilting their head side to side. Brace yourself for a bunch of people walking around aimlessly, periodically doing an impression of a cocker spaniel.
We got to thinking about what we'd like to use the glasses for when they become a reality.
1. Watch sports
There is nothing more important than the ability to take the game with you. Being able to summon live action to my phone has saved me the inhumanity of speaking with other people countless times. What good will these things be if you can't don them to discretely watch the NCAA tournament during class?
2. Look at adult entertainment
The urge strikes at odd times. On the subway. Walking to class. Before the big Penske presentation. The ability to have a travel spank-bank on your person at all times is one of man's greatest needs. Also, imagine how much better that well-might-as-well session with a 3 after a night out at the bar would be if you could check out some high-quality adult entertainment for inspiration. It would be a real life, and dignity, saver.
3. Update Facebook
A perk of having the latest technology is being able to rub it in the face of those less fortunate. Blinking out a status update of "I wrote this with my eyes" is the ultimate screw-you to the have-nots.
4. Take high-quality pictures
For a while, this new contraption is going to enable the wearer to go straight poparrazo. Imagine the freedom of being able to snap photos without the discomfort of people knowing what you're doing. Good news for perverts, I guess. But other, more normal people could benefit, too.
5. Make us feel like the Terminator
Really, this has been a lifelong goal for all of us. To see the world through his eyes, identifying threats in real time, would be the ultimate excitement. We're not going to hold our breath on this one, but one day this dream will come to fruition.