The holidays are near. You should get your old man something nice. Something that will be a thanks for all the times he played catch with you. Something that will make up for last year's ill-advised decision to gift him the CBS Sports banner you cunningly stole from your school's football stadium.
10. For the classy drinking Dad:
Unless your pops is Mitt Romney (what up, Tagg!), he probably likes bourbon. A nice pick would be the 2012 Parker's heritage collection, a rich blend of rye-mash and wheat-mash bourbons that will set you back a few bucks, but should be worth it. Why? Heaven Hill's Master distiller Parker Beam, who, according to Esquire, "knows as much about great American whiskey as any man living," picks one bourbon every year as his favorite. This bourbon is it.
9. For the eclectic Dad:
Box of Awesome, $45
Online subscription boxes have become nearly ubiquitous lately, however our favorite has to be the Box of Awesome. Taking a different theme each month—last month was food-related and included an incredible selection of meats and snacks—the boxes are unique for an opt-out option, which most of these subscription services don't offer. So if your dad isn't a fan of the box he gets, he can swap it out for something more suitable. Unless your dad is a real crusty bastard, though, he'll find something to like in every one we've seen.
8. For the musically-inclined Dad:
Vinyl Frames, $16.70 each
The odds are good that your dad still has his old Bruce Springsteen and Who albums laying around, more than likely without a working record player to truly enjoy them. Rather than throw them out—and how could you throw out what can only be called "art?"—buy a couple of these frames designed specifically for vinyl albums. They'll look good in his man cave, home office, or work office, if he wants to really intimidate the competition with Bruce.
7. For the golfing Dad:
If your dad is still rocking brown-and-white Footjoys from 1998, these are the kicks to take his game into the 21st century. They're lightweight, comfortable, and a cooler design than the stodgy older golf shoes'. They also—and this is important—are absolutely guaranteed to take 15 strokes off his game. Adidas has promised this. In writing. Hold them to it.
6. For the active Dad:
It's tough to carve out the time to exercise, This pedometer encourages more walking by hitting personalized goals, and 60% of users lose an average of 13 pounds after a few weeks. It also actually gives a donation (this is true) to a charity for polio vaccines when you hit 60,000 steps. Depending on how you look at it, this is either admirable or utterly insane.
5. For the stylish Dad:
By forgoing marketing and advertising, Beckett Simonon has managed to make designer-quality shoes and sell them for much cheaper than the brand-name guys. The wingtips look like they'll really class up your pop's suits.
4. For the handy Dad:
I've spent the better part of the past week trying to put together an Ikea desk, so I'm not really the best source on what tools out there offer the best bang for your buck. But this power screw drill looks ridiculously cool. It works like a gun—to use, you pull the slide on top of the driver, and a bit actually rotates in a chamber before being shot out. To shoot out another bit, you cock the hammer again. We've reached it, folks. We've turned home improvement projects into a Quentin Tarantino film. And the world is better for it.
3. For the cleaned-up Dad:
Art of Shaving Kit, $60
Because he taught you how to shave without slicing open your neck.
2. For the literary Dad:
Is it really only $69 now? Wow. Anyway, you know what you're getting with the Kindle now: The lightest, most readable e-reader on the market with a selection of over a million books (including 180,000 Kindle-specific titles). This is still one of the best gifts you can get someone.
1. For the Dad whose son's company just had a $1 billion IPO:
2014 Jaguar XFR-S, $99,000
Look at this bad boy. Just look at this sweet beauty. If you just sold Instagram to Facebook or won the Powerball, here's how you give back to the man who helped make you into the business mogul/luckiest man alive that you are today.
The deets from Gear Patrol:
With a 5.5-liter supercharged V8 that provides 550 horsepower to the rear wheels, this top-of-the-line XF cat gets 0-60 in 4.4 seconds and tops out at 186 mph. Provided your passengers aren’t all corpulently configured, this means you can frighten five people (including yourself) at near supercar speeds. And yes, it comes with all the doo-dads, like adaptive headlights, LED taillights, rip-roaring quad exhausts, an 825W sound system, navigation, a 7-inch touchscreen and fully ventilated and heated front seats, just to name a few. All you have to figure out is whether or not to go with classic British Racing Green paint or eye-searing electric blue.
Buy a companion car for yourself. You picked a Powerball based on Kansas City Royals Hall of Famers, so you've kind of earned it.
BONUS! For the Dad who rules:
My Dad is a Bro, $4
Only $4! C'mon. That's like a beer.