Nice Laundry Socks, $34
Love this idea. For anyone else who's given up on trying to keep a decent sock drawer, Nice Laundry offers a fresh start. From their Kickstarter page:
Opening up a sock drawer full of colorful, amazing socks is simply the best way to start the morning. Very few people experience it and it's time to change that. Here's how we're going to do it:
These socks are badass. We started by taking what we loved from one of our favorite $38 pair of socks and then obsessed over every detail: the patterns, material composition, cuff height, and more. We’re using the same factories as top brands like J. Crew and our technical designer has worked for Levi’s, Polo, and Vineyard Vines.
Prepaid shipping labels come with every order. Send us your old socks and we'll recycle them. A significant percentage will be reused and repurposed, while the balance will be converted into recycled fibers.
You can quibble with the “best way to start the morning” comment. (That would be sex and bacon, in that order.) But the idea itself? Brilliant.
X Doria iPad Cover, $49.99
Because a cracked iPad screen doesn't carry the same “I'm a badass” vibe as an iPhone's. It just screws up your “Breaking Bad” watching.
Breakfast Sandwich Maker, $29.99
You stack your eggs, cheese, and bacon in there with a bagel, and boom, bitch: Hangover's almost (but not really) cured.
Shots iGot, $1.99
An app that measures how many shots of liquor you just poured in your emptied-out Gatorade or Coke bottle, Shots iGot is perfect for the fastidious drunk; the drunk who likes to get it straight when recounting “HOW WASTED I GOT LAST NIGHT.”
New Balance M996RG, $185
These light grey, suede and mesh New Balances are new for the season and look fairly dope. I have no idea why they cost so much more than previous New Balances. Perhaps they weren't actually made in a sweatshop?
Miserable name, but if that New Balance pricetag made you blanch, above is a nice-looking AND relatively cheap alternative.
Ballast Watches, $350
For all you Sailor Jerrys and wannabe Sailor Jerrys out there…
Ron Swanson wouldn't like it (a grill with a USB port is no grill at all, he'd say). But this is the 21st century, Daniel Boone. It's okay if you want to charge your phone will grilling meat.
Andrew W.K. Playtex Wipes, $5.29
Andrew W.K. is the face of Playtex crotch wipes now. I'd like that image to just sink your head and stay there tonight.
Why was W.K.—composer of such gems as “Party Party Party,” “It's Time to Party,” and “Party Till You Puke”—chosen to promote this product? Says Playtex: “This exciting new product required the help of someone who could embody the brand's playful yet bold campaign; someone who could party hard, but still be clean when it counted. Andrew W.K. is that someone and we are thrilled to have him on board with us.”
I fucking love this guy.
Mercedes Benz G63, $500,000
100% sure this becomes the car of choice for Middle Eastern oil barons, rappers, and NBA power forwards over the next five years. In 2014, Chris Bosh will figure out a way to roll it while driving around South Beach.