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What the Angle You Wear Your Hat At Says About You

By / 06.27.13

Frontwards, Crowned: You are over 30, enjoy fishing, and are beaming uncontrollably about your recent foray into sobriety. Your smile to frown ratio is laughably high, and your greatest nightmare is that someone will call you out for the fraud you are.

The words “mortage” and “default” are most certainly in your future!

Frontwards, Flat-Brimmed, Tight: There’s a decent chance that in high school, you often skipped class to smoke cigarettes with your acquaintances–also hat enthusiasts, but of the beanie variety. You are likely very much into your souped up car that used to be your Uncle's–complete with that sick speaker system built by you and your friend with unaddressed family issues. That kid is now in jail.  

That said there is something going on in that cranium you aren’t telling us. You’re a much bigger nerd/intellectual than people initially realize.

Frontwards, with tags still on: Unless you are a rapper and/or notable entertainer, significantly less needs to be done.  

 

45 Degrees tilt, Frontwards: You are likely trying a bit too hard to fit into the world which you aspire to–skateboarding, underground music, drug dealing. There is no need for this, and any Professor you have is guaranteed to give you half a letter grade lower.

90 Degree Tilt (Completely Sideways): You’re not having close to as much sex as you’re trying to make people think.

91-189 Degree Tilt Backwards: Taking after Ken Griffey Jr.’s trademark getup circa Backyard Baseball 2001, there’s a chance you might actually be cool. Backwards-sideways people can generally get away with being incompetent at most everything, because their hat angle choice often indicates they’re at a genetic disadvantage. Oblivious to nature, it is these people, shockingly, that seem to (somehow) be most content with themselves. 

Backwards (180 Degrees), Crowned: You probably have a cool job, like a firefighter. There is nothing you like better than coming home after a mediocre Tuesday, hitting up your Bros, and watching the Red Wings win 2-0. Wherever you're from, you embrace the slightly abrasive regional accent. All in all, you are a respectable human. 

Backwards, Flat-brimmed: Angles are everything. And somehow, you are just awful at beer pong. 


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