3D Printers are truly the wave of the future, unlike a million of the useless, poorly thought-out or downright stupid gadgets and other technological “advances” of our time.
But that doesn’t mean these printers should only be used for tasks of great altruism like constructing limbs for amputees or industrial undertakings like printing car parts on an assembly line. This wonderful tech should also be used for the average person to live out his or her wildest dreams with just the push of a button.
These are some things we can’t wait to be able to print on 3D Printers, especially if we could some day do it in the comfort of our own homes.
Your Seamless Order
First, going out to a restaurant was too much to ask for, so we called it in. Then talking on the phone became too much of a hassle with the rise of the introvert and the fall of monthly minutes in your phone plan. Now having to direct a delivery person, let alone speak to and tip them is the great burden of our time. Can’t we just have our Seamless order essentially beamed to us through a printer?
Estimated widespread availability of technology: 2068
Sex Toys
All but the most futuristic and illegal sex toys are typically made with just one material – rubber. Blueprints of genitals could be made and shared with the sex toy community and printed by 3D printers. Think of the implications for long-term relationships Then again, maybe you just want a tasteful bust of your dong to proudly display on your mantle. Either way, you’re set.
Estimated widespread availability of technology: 2017
Fake IDs
Back in the day you always knew someone who knew someone who knew how to chalk an ID. In New York State, at least. But bro, bro, bro… if we had this back in the day, chalking would’ve been so obsolete. Unfortunately, the fact that this probably opens up many opportunities for the technology to fall into the wrong hands and support acts of terrorism probably eclipses the need for underage college kids to get their drink on.
Estimated widespread availability of technology: 2024
2D Printers that Actually Work
If printers were a race of people, they would have died out by now and we would only remember them by the racist things we say about them. For example, that last sentence. Maybe 3D printers would actually create the printers we know today as versions that could actually fucking work.
Estimated widespread availability of technology: Just wishful thinking…
Backup Keys
Replacing lost keys, changing the locks to keep out your psycho ex, and making copies for a new soon-to-be psycho-ex would be a hell of a lot easier than going to some surly locksmith, wouldn’t it?
Estimated widespread availability of technology: 2068, unfortunately after physical keys have been phased out…
Solo Cups, Shot Glasses and Ping Pong Balls
Broke a shot glass? Print another one. Got a party coming up and you don’t feel like going to the store? Print a shitload of Solo cups and ping pong balls. The only thing no one should ever have the right to print? Beer.
Estimated widespread availability of technology: 2016 (let’s hope)
What would you add to this list?
3D printer image by Stefano Tinti/Shutterstock