Gear
by MattJ on September 19, 2012

1. 12-Can Ammo Pack

$39.95 - Perfect for tailgates, day-longs, or a regular Tuesday. The pockets are insulated, and this thing is f*ckin' fantastic.

 

2. Flying F*ck

$29.99 - Entertain yourself and some friends for a while whether you give one or not.

 

3. Brass Knuckles Taser

$29.75 - Having the ability to back a punch with 950,000 volts of electricity seems like the closest to a super power I'll ever get.

 

4. Switch-Blade Bottle Opener

$12.52 - If you have the brass knuckles taser, you don't need a blade. So instead swap it for a switch-opener.

 

5. Inflatable Beer Pong Table

$59.65 - Pool parties are awesome. Beer pong is awesome. Boom.

 

6. Radar Detector

$44.99 - Being able to avoid the po-po is a key trait for a bro. These help.

 

7. Russian Roulette Drinking Gun

$19.20 - Guns and alcohol should never be mixed, but this seems like the safest option.

 

8. Shot Roulette

$15.98 - Whether you want to play the game or not, it comes with 16 shot glasses which is a fantastic deal in itself. 

 

9. Giant Ear Bud Speakers

$39.99 - Everybody needs speakers, so why not just get a bigger version of your head phones? It makes sense.

 

10. Toilet Mini Golf

$15.95 - Sh*tting and golf are two things that most men enjoy. When combined, you'll be off to a great day.

 

11. Belt Buckle Flask

$3.70 – At only 2 ounces of volume, where this guy lacks in size it makes up for in price and convenience.

 

12. Gun-Shapped Egg Mold

$9.88 - Start your morning off with a bang. 

 

13. Rolled-Joint Candles

$9.69 - No matter how hard you wish it won't turn into a real joint.

 

14. Bear Grylls Survival Kit

$29.99 - If you find yourself on a deserted island, this will help. So will a camera crew, rescue helicopters and contracts.

 

15. Desk Mini Cannons

$29 - These are not currently unavailable on Amazon, and I think Dwight Schrute must have snagged the last one. Here's why.

 

16. Dual Drink Tailgate Backpack

$39.95 - Combine this with the 12-Can Ammo Pack for a very successful tailgate. 

 

17. Mini Air Hockey Table

$79.49 - Throw this in the place of any coffee table, and you now have the best coffee table.

 

18. Beer Koozie Mittens

$29.99 - I'm not going to support any bro that wears this, but the concept is cool. Buy it for your girl or someone else.

 

20. Printer for iPhone and iPad

$99.99 - Being able to print directly from your iPhone or iPad could be incredibly useful.

 

21. Gangsta Rap Coloring Book

$8.95 - Now we can teach children art without turning them into hipsters. Revolutionary.

 

22. Home Brewing Kit 

$44.49 - I'm sure it would take me a few tries to make anything that's not horrific, but the reward of my own brew would be worth it in the end.

 

23. Snow Cone Machine

$39 - If it wasn't for the effort I'd have to put in, I could totally go for homemade beers and snow cones.

 

24. Pocket Chainsaw

$13.24 - Make sure to have your taser knuckles on if you ever meet a guy carrying this.

 

25. Ice Luge 

$21.89 - Easy to prepare, easy to get f*cked up.

 

We're just getting started. Check out 25 more on the next page.

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26. Silver-Plated Ball Scratcher

$13.30 - Scratch your balls in style.

 

27. Shot Glass Checkers Set

$21.95 - Like the roulette set, the 26 shot glasses this comes with may be worth a buy in themselves.

 

28. Survival Bracelet

$2.85 - The bracelet can be transformed into nine feet of rope. From there, hope you have those helicopters like Bear Grylls.

 

29. 2-Liter Das Boot

$29.50 - DAS BOOT!

 

30. Mini Das Boot Shot Glasses

$20.99 - DAS BOOTS!

 

31. Beer Holster

$24.85 - It's not quite as effective as numbers 1 or 100, but it's a solid option.

 

32. Dog Super Man Costume

$12 - I am heavily against people dressing up their dogs. I think it's ridiculous. However, if you're going to, this one's kind of funny.

 

33. Sh*t Not You Again

$36.99 - Always be welcoming to your guests.

 

34. Beer Keg Bar Stool

$84.95 - Currently not on Amazon, but the product is the kit. So if you can find a seat cushon and a way to attach it to a keg shell, you're in business.

 

35. Offensive Business Cards

$14.99 - A slightly less effective version of, “I'm CEO, Bitch.”

 

36. Whiskey Stones

$19.99 - Bros don't need their drinks watered down, use these instead of ice.

 

37. Vinyl Record Placemats

$17.99 - These will make your table look good, but if you have old, real vinyls, those would be the way to go.

 

38. Credit Card-Sized Tool Kit

$15.99 - The survival tools just keep coming. Plus, this one has a bottle opener.

 

39. Upside-Down Bottle Glass

$15.15 -  Nothing flashy, but I'd love to enjoy a cold one out of one of these.

 

40. Netted Cocoon Hammock

$56.95 - I would be out for days in one of these after a weekend full of regrets.

 

41. Beer Box Cowboy Hat

$35.60 - Making this and not buying it could save some cash, but f*ck it I'm lazy.

 

42. B**b Koozies

$8.96 - Beer and fake b**bs go together like PB&J.

 

43. Secret Container Bolt

$21.25 - Bros can never have enough places to hide sh*t.

 

44. Freedom Flask

$24.95 - 32 ounces of booze, easy to conceal and wear. Beautiful.

 

45. Portable Shower

$29.90 - 10 liters of clean water for a shower at any time and anywhere. 

 

46. Chain Link Wine Holder

$11.76 - Make your bottle of wine look as bad*ss as possible.

 

47. Hand Blades

$34.68 - Tempting, but I'd still go with the brass knuckle taser.

 

48. Bongzilla

$42.12 - A necessity at any party, tailgate, or place where getting f*cked up happens.

 

49. 5-Pound Gummy Bear

$25.99 - Give me one good reason why not.

 

50. Mini House Incense Burner

$54.99 - Currently unavailable on amazon, but a cool option for incense burners. Maybe throw your letters on the wall.

 

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51. Whiskey Stone Shot Glasses

$39.95 - Your whiiskey stone collection is now twice as good.

 

52. Toilet Seat Pedal

$24.99 - Seat goes up nice and easy. Seat goes back down. Everybody wins.

 

53. Hands-Free iPad Holder

$70 - Watch your favorite movies without having to hold onto the iPad itself!

 

54. One Hand Beer and Food Holder

$27.50 - The trick is taking a sip of the beer without losing all that food. I'm skeptical.

 

55. Razor Sharpener

$24.46 - Because razor blades are f*ckin expensive.

 

56. Floating Bumper Cars

$99.90 - They have cannons.

 

57. Snowball Blaster

$29.99 - Childish? Yes. However going on a rampage with one of these bad boys would definitely not be a bad thing.

 

58. Beer Belly

$29.95 - The negative is that you indeed have a beer belly, but the positive is that you can hold a f*ck ton of booze. 

 

59. iPhone Case / Money Clip

$17.99 - Kill two birds with one stone, but if you lose it you're f*cked.

 

60. Mini Pool Table

$28.95 - Like the mini air hockey table, this just makes any regular table that much better.

 

61. “Always Sunny” D*ck Towel

$28.49 - A conversation starter that's up there with the best of them. Let a chick see this on the beach then take her back for more later.

 

62. Inflatable Beach Pillow

$20.99 - I wouldn't bring this to the beach, but it looks pretty damn comfortable.

 

63. Flip-Up Keyboard

$19.95 - There's definitely some use in this. Mainly let a little more time pass before I lose sh*t.

 

64. Beer Pong Table

$79.99 - A classic, but there's no denying that everyone needs a table. One of many options here.

 

65. Plug Mug

$18.99 - This would absolutely be effective, and you can even keep the plug in your flip-up keyboard. 

 

66. Portable Super Nintendo Player

$76.28 - If you really, really love Super Nintendo and want to play at all times, you're welcome. If you play this at all times already, please reconsider for your own good.

 

67. Silk Suit Pajamas

$89.95 - Barney Stinson says these are the only way to go. Dude's a boss.

 

68. Axe Multi-Tool

$30.44 - There are zero bad things about this tool. Ron Swanson probably has about eight of them.

 

69. Condoms in Bulk

$18.20 - 100 condoms for under 20 bucks is a pretty sweet deal if you're going to buy condoms.

 

70. Skull Pitcher

$17.24 - Whether it's a skull or not, pitchers are always good to have. Looking cool can't hurt.

 

71. Bad Mother F*cker Wallet

$24.75 - “It's the one that says 'Bad mother f*cker.”

 

72. Bed Fan

$75.99 - Because being too cold when you're trying to sleep is really f*cking annoying, but on the other hand maybe just lose some covers. To each his own.

 

73. Glow-In-The-Dark TP

$10.99 - This one is probably not worth the $10.99 to wipe your a** with, but where I can see it being useful is in TPing some d*ckhead's house.

 

74. Dope Fish Aquarium

$34.99 - What I'm getting from this is that you can add or remove sections of the tank, but would it be wrong to let the fighting fish just battle it out?

 

75. Touch Screen Gloves

$8.75 - If these gloves do a good job keeping your hands warm, then they're a great buy for under 10 bucks.

 

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76. Sex Panther Cologne

$34.95 - “60% of the time it works, every time.”

 

77. Haircut Umbrella

$8.99 - This looks absolutely absurd, but I know a lot of bros that cut their own, or their bros', hair. This makes for an easy clean-up. 

 

78. Water Fountain Faucet

$9.89 - Hungover, lazy, and have no drinks? Bam. Plus you save a cup.

 

79. LED Faucet

$38.99 - Who knew there were so many ways to pimp out a faucet?

 

80. Tennis Ball Launcher

$21.30 - It says it's for your dog, but this looks like a tennis ball sling shot to me

 

81. Can Beer Bong

$3.95 - 3 seconds to chug a can? Sign me up.

 

82. Grass Charging Station

$24 - This would be a lot cooler if the grass didn't just hide the wires but somehow charged your phone without them.

 

83. Shot Darts

$12.86 - A solid drinking game option until players start missing the board all together.

 

84. Spin the Shot

$11.24 - Easy enough to understand: arrow points to you, get f*cked up.

 

85. Shot Tender

$39.99 - Looks good, and nobody will knock over bottles at your party. Win, win.

 

86. Meter Coffee Mug

$9.60 - If Coors Light can make money with their blue mountains, whoever makes this should be on pace for millions.

 

87. NERF Sniper

$51.39 - A 50 dollar NERF gun better be very solid. I think I'd go for the tennis ball launcher or snowball blaster first, but this is a close third.

 

88. Self-Sustaining World

$60.92 - This serves no purpose, but having animals around that you literally have to do nothing for is pretty sweet.

 

89. Dust Mop Slippers

$6.72 - Cleaning made easier when pledges aren't an option.

 

90. 144 Ping Pong Balls

$9.94 - If you live in a place where beer pong will be played, this deal is a no brainer. 144 ping pong balls is a lot, but 10 bucks is not too bad.

 

91. Tactical Grilling Kit

The combination of camo and beer holders alone makes this a grilling gem that unfortunately can't be found on Amazon right now.

 

92. Dog Water Pedal

$35.56 - Dogs that can do things on their own or for me are cool. I feel like this can be a start.

 

93. Samurai Sword Chop Sticks

$21.95 – I'm thinking these chop sticks will do the work for me if they're that expensive.

 

94. Drinking Helmet

$8.99 - If you want to be that guy that wears this, here's your chance. 

 

95. Zip-Up Headphones

Currently Unavailable on Amazon - Definitely available elsewhere, they zip up to avoid tangling. 

 

96. Roulette Beer Bong

$21.18 - Only one person drinks, but nobody knows who it's going to be. There would definitely be some hilarious outcomes with this.

 

97. Multi-Tap Keg Pump

$86.85 - This guy is worth the investment. While you may not need it for a small get-together, four taps help a great deal at big time parties.

 

98. Freezable Beer Pong Racks

$26.34 - Keep those brews cold, simple as that.

 

99. Magnetic Light Switch Cover

$29.99 - Keys and lighters would definitely not be lost (as much) with these, and if it can really hold a hammer that's pretty impressive.

 

100. Can Holster Belt

$6.99 - Combine with the 12-Can Ammo Pack and the Dual Drink Backpack and then you're fully loaded for an awesome tailgate (or just any day).

 

Everything is there for the taking on the Internet. This list has some things that, while incredibly random, hopefully made you think, “Sh*t that's pretty sweet.”

[H/T] to This Is Why I'm Broke for a lot of the items and inspiration.