Woah. You ready to get pitted with a meathead movie hard-on? Let's get juiced, Bros! 

Michael Bay's "Pain & Gain" might be the most Michael Bay movie ever. The trailer just dropped this afternoon and it has all the right flourishes of a Michael Bay classic: Mark Wahlberg, The Rock. 'Roid rage dick jokes. Protein shakes. Car chases. Strippers. Some sort of plot about the meathead glory of "believing in fitness." AMERICAN FLAGS EVERYWHERE. U-S-A. U-S-A. U-S-

Oh wait, it's about scumbag Miami bankrobbers? Hmm...

Whatever. So much testosterone my balls exploded after watching. I haven't been this excited about a movie with Dwayne Johnson since "The Scorpion King."