A lot of crazy stuff has happened on Game of Thrones this season, and with the season finale on Sunday, we thought it would be a good time to take a trip down memory lane. Yes, from crazy ladies flying through moon doors to poisoned pies and demands for more chicken, it has truly been a wild season. But amidst all the carnage and all the boobs, some moments managed to stick out as the craziest of them all, so let us look back, with wonder, joy, horror and maybe even a touch of the WTF, at these, the nine most insane moments from Game of Thrones so far this season.
9. Daenerys Crucifies the Nobles of Meereen
Dany wasn’t playing around this season, as she led her Unsullied army to the gates of Meereen and made it clear that she was, uh, not a fan of the nobility. That’s the sort of thing that happens, though, when you taunt a fiery dragon queen with a bunch of crucified children. That shit just doesn’t sit well. It was a vivid reminder that you do not want to be one of Dany’s enemies, and as each episode passed in this season, it became clear that she was perhaps harder and a bigger badass than any of the kings and warriors vying for the throne back in Westeros. She won’t just kill you, she’ll literally crucify your pompous ass.
8. Jaime Rapes Cersei Next to the Corpse of Their Dead Son
Jesus Christ. Just read that again. Look, there has been a lot of controversy about this scene, for a myriad of reasons – was it rape or not, it deviated from the precious books, it messed up Jaime’s redemption arc, etc. – but she said no, repeatedly, and Jaime still got after it, so… yeah. You know a series is completely batshit insane when the least insane part of the whole scene is that Jaime and Cersei are brother and sister. This scene turned off a lot of viewers, at least if you go by the reaction of the internet, which is always, uh, thoughtful and balanced. Then again, the show went on to earn HBO’s biggest ratings EVER, so maybe not everyone saw the scene in the same light. Of course, it’s kind of hard to derail the Jaime Lannister love train that’s been building up steam considering he tossed a little boy out of a window in the very first episode of the series and he still managed to become a fan favorite. We could go round and round on this all day – and people have – but no matter what you think, you have to agree that this scene was pretty goddamn nuts.
7. The Hound Wants His Chicken
The Hound and Arya Stark roadshow has maybe been the highlight of the whole season. This tends to happen when you stick maybe the two biggest badasses in the whole series together, especially when one of them is a tween girl. The highlight of their romp probably came early on when they stumbled upon an inn, the Hound wanted some goddamn chicken, established that, yes, he would eat every chicken in the place and then killed a bunch of Lannister jerkoffs with the help of his new sidekick and her sword, Needle. Of course, as The Hound explained just before all the killing started, “only cunts name their swords,” but nobody says that he and Arya don’t have their disagreements.
Related: Every recap of every episode of Season 4 right here
6. The Reveal of the Night’s King
This was another controversial scene, if only because it was a vast departure from the books, and some even wondered if the show had actually spoiled future events from the books. Still, it added another piece to the story’s puzzle, as the dreaded white walkers were revealed to be taking babies back to their own little ice fortress to turn them into blue eyed zombies or whatever the hell they are. The head walker was even listed in the credits as the Night’s King, a character of vague legend mentioned in the books, the sort of thing you might tell around a campfire to scare the shit out of the kids. This was maybe the biggest scene that really tested whether or not fans of the books could reconcile their love for them with the changes made in the series. And again, given the show’s ratings this season, I’d say a lot of them decided they were okay with it.
5. Littlefinger Kills Lysa
Ever since Lysa Arryn and her creepy still breastfeeding even though he’s damn near a teenager son Robin showed up in the first season, ranting and raving about throwing people through the Moon Door, you knew that some crazy shit would go down eventually. And once asshole extraordinaire and Machiavellian plotter Littlefinger, AKA Lysa’s new husband, showed up on the scene with Sansa Stark – daughter of his true love, and Lysa’s niece – you just knew that the time for some flyin’ had come. Naturally, the unhinged Lysa was instantly jealous that Littlefinger had plans to give the beautiful Sansa his littlefinger, and, well, for once she was right, as she witnessed Littlefinger macking on young Sansa. She tried to kill Sansa, and Littlefinger responded by tossing her crazy ass out of the Moon Door because I guess that’s just the punishment for peepin’ in Westeros.
4. The Wildlings Attack the Wall
This wasn’t so much a scene as an entire episode of tension and violence, as the Wildlings finally reached the wall and set about besieging it with everything from giants to goddamn wooly mammoths. Meanwhile, on the other side of the wall, Ygritte and the smaller band of Wildlings who had scaled the wall and had been raising hell, arrived and attacked. In the end, lots of people died, Sam finally made a move on Gilly, Ygritte was killed by a little boy and died in her estranged lover’s arms, Jon Snow pretty much took command of the Night Watch, some giants ran wild… and that was before the really, really big battle could even take place. Goddamn.
Related: Every recap of every episode of Season 4 right here
3. Tyrion’s Mad as Hell and He’s Not Going to Take it Anymore
Tyrion finally losing his shit and bitching out the whole of King’s Landing was about as epic a final scene as you can get. It was like a pro-wrestling promo. And the whole thing crescendoed and then climaxed with Tyrion demanding a trial by combat and demolishing his asshole father’s intricately laid plans. Tyrion finally breaking and renouncing virtually everyone and everything after a lifetime of having shit heaped on him by his own family was a cathartic moment for everyone watching. Of course, it meant that he would probably die, but this is Game of Thrones, what do you expect?
2. The Mountain and the Viper Duel
Tyrion’s trial by combat ended up morphing into a grudge match between The Viper, Prince Oberyn of Dorne, and The Mountain, aka the Hound’s brother, aka the biggest psychopath in Westeros, aka the dude who raped and killed Oberyn’s sister and her babies. Oberyn proceeded to go full on Inigo Montoya against the giant Mountain and appeared to have killed the monster like a boss. But then the Mountain tripped Oberyn, grabbed his head and literally popped it like a pimple. It was maybe the most disgusting scene in the show’s history, which is really saying something, and it served as a death sentence for Tyrion. It’s hard to get much more insane than that.
1. Joffrey Dies
Of course, the whole reason that Tyrion was on trial in the first place is because someone poisoned and killed that little asshole nephew of his, King Joffrey. FINALLY. It was a totally cathartic scene, as fans everywhere rejoiced like the Ewoks at the end of Return of the Jedi. I mean, this dude was maybe the biggest douchebag in history. Everyone hated him, and so it was maybe the most satisfying moment in the show’s history when the camera lingered over his face, frozen in a grotesque death mask, all veiny and bloodshot. Of course, Tyrion was immediately blamed because his family sucks, but for one glorious moment, it didn’t matter because Joffrey was finally dead. It was the biggest “fuck yeah!” moment of them all. So far anyway. Somehow I have a feeling that we’ll get a Father’s Day season finale that none of us will ever forget.
Related: Every recap of every episode of Season 4 right here