Televangelists are by their very nature ridiculous people. And yet, some are even more ridiculous than the rest. I know that’s hard to believe given the cartoon character you have running through your head whenever you think of the stereotypical televangelist and yet it’s true. While your average televangelist might elicit a few laughs and the occasional eye-roll, the following nine televangelists all will put the fear of God in you, but only because you’ll wonder what kind of benevolent being would allow such insanity to run rampant. Truly, they are nine of the most ridiculous televangelists of them all. May God have mercy on all of our souls.
Photo credit: Man holding cross image by Shutterstock
Oh, Benny Hinn. This dude is America’s pre-eminent faith healer/nut bag, and as you can see from this inspired compilation video he really, really takes the whole laying of hands thing seriously. Let the bodies hit the floor indeed. But hey, he’s only doing what Jesus did. Wait, Jesus did bitchslap everyone in the front row of one his sermons, right?
Pat Robertson is completely nuts. It’s almost impressive really. I mean, it takes a true artist of insanity to start talking about martial arts, segue into stories about Chuck Norris saving “ghetto kids” and then to start ranting and raving about “inhaling demon spirits” all in under a minute and a half. But that’s just par for the course for Robertson though who once claimed that he could leg-press 2,000 pounds thanks to some magic “age-defying energy shake.” Just read that again.
Kenneth Copeland is not only completely ridiculous, but also creepy as hell. Watch as he serenades his wife with some ridiculous ‘70s sounding light R&B. Seriously, that sounds like Ron Burgundy on the flute. I can’t wait for his album of smooth love songs to drop, along with all the panties of his parishioners. Oooh yeah. I wouldn’t put it past Copeland to capitalize on this shameless cheese-fest either since he is an advocate of something called the “Prosperity Gospel” which is basically a way for greedy assholes to justify their sociopathic money-grubbing by shoehorning some lazy crap about God into the mix. Kenneth Copeland, what a guy.
This lady is a real piece of work. Aside from looking like an escapee from Hee-Haw’s insane asylum, she founded the Trinity Broadcasting Network along with husband Paul Crouch in 1973. TBN has gone onto to be the model for all money-grubbing grifters masquerading as dudes and lady dudes of God. After years of pulling their con on mushy-headed idiots the Crouch’s marriage eventually exploded in scandal as Paul was caught up in allegations of homosexual misconduct while Jan kept on keepin’ on, taking to the airwaves day after day to cry her crocodile tears and beg for Grandma’s social security check.
Peter Popoff is one of the OG’s of the con-man preacher game. He made his name by supposedly being able to “guess” people’s afflictions. After being exposed as a fraud by investigators, Popoff laid low for a while before coming back with more crazy schemes – such as his “Miracle Spring Water” – and shameless God-mongering in the name of the almighty dollar. Popoff’s most notable contribution to society though is this: he was the inspiration for the pro-wrestling character Brother Love. And if any of you remember that dude, then you know that Popoff has more than earned his place on this list.
Just look at this nutcase. He just casually speaks in tongues, a mile a minute like some cheap carnival barker – which is basically what he is. Just listen as he casually slips in “we’ve seen midgets grow.” What in the… ? I think my favorite part of the video here though is where he just screams “I don’t make this stuff up!” Someone’s a little defensive. Seriously, are we sure this dude isn’t a Will Ferrell character?
I’m sure we’ve all seen Reverend X by now, but in case you haven’t just watch and be awed by the sheer foul-mouthed insanity. Are you laughin’ beyotch? I know I am.
Known as “The Screaming Preacher,” Jonathan Bell may be the funniest man on the planet. Of course, he doesn’t mean to be, but just watch the video above and I promise you you’ll spend a good half an hour on YouTube hunting for clips of his insanity. Satanists came to his house! Five of ‘em!
John Hagee, known for his apocalyptic warnings, is a complete lunatic who spends all his time ranting and raving about crazy conspiracy theories proving that we’re living in the end-times and occasionally he goes even beyond that wild-eyed dipshittery and starts gibbering about stuff like Hitler hunting the Jews. That makes him scary and ridiculous enough to warrant a high place on this list, but what really puts his over the top, what lands him the coveted top spot, is that for all his lunatic fringe insanity, he is taken completely seriously by a sizable number of people, including influential politicians and conservative media types. But let’s counter that by giving him exactly what he deserves: laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.
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