Louis C.K. is a lot of things. First and foremost, he's a brilliant comedian who's revolutionizing show business in front of our very eyes. Secondly, he's a walking Hollywood success story; a creative type who's managed to explode his career and build a devoted fanbase by staying true to himself. Finally, he's the creator of the darkest comedy on television, which might very well be the best (at the very least, the smartest) comedy on the idiot box.

There's a good reason for Louis C.K.'s succes: The honesty and sincerity of his schtick. He's a wise and brilliant participant-observer in the game of life who makes a living slaughtering sacred cows by saying exactly what everyone's thinking. C.K.'s genius is that he simply holds a mirror up to life and makes us laught at it. The people who don't like or identify with him have always struck me as the type of folks that can't laugh at themselves. Because we can relate to him and his viewpoints on life's absurdity is why we, collectively, love him so damn much, one bag of dicks and miserable fat joke and Cinnabon Roll at a time. 

In honor of our favorite mast*rbating comedian returning to FX for season 3 of "Louie," I've put together a hefty slideshow of Louie C.K.'s greatest quotes, quips, and bits from over the years. Hit "next" at the top to proceed.