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Hollywood has made Cowboy Westerns and Alien Science-Fiction two of the most popular genres in cinema history, with classic characters on both sides of the aisle. It was only a matter of time before they would meet head to head on the battlefield, as they do in "Cowboys & Aliens," which opens in theaters tonight. Although we like our chances with Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and smokeshow Olivia Wilde fighting for the good guys, I've been wondering how other cowboys from movies past would fare against the aliens that still haunt our nightmares. Here are 10 hypothetical Cowboys vs. Aliens deathmatch battles — who do you think would win? Sound Off in the Comments below!
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The Man With No Name ("Dollars Trilogy," Clint Eastwood) vs. Predator ("Predator")
An unstoppable force meets an impassible object. The Man with No Name would bring the heat, while the Predator would be packing an arsenal of awesome weapons including retractable wrist blades, shoulder-mounted plasma cannon, and a portable nuke on his wrist. Both of these guys are my favorite in each genre and I would want to see a draw since they both are awesome and have a knack for kicking ass. However, because we have witnessed the Predator killed by the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Glover, I can see Clint pulling this one out if he doesn’t get toasted from the nuclear bomb that the Alien calls a watch and a last resort.
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Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid ("Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," Paul Newman and Robert Redford) vs. Darth Maul and General Grievous ("Star Wars")
Butch and the Kid are the crowd favorites here, there's no denying that. But when they are facing off against two dudes that essentially have six light sabers between them (and one of them is a mentally unstable cyborg), I would say the dynamic duo would be carved into like a butcher separating different cuts of meat. Lightsabers + The Force + Crazy Robot > Two Bros with six-shooters.
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Wyatt Earp and Virgil Earp ("Tombstone," Kurt Russell and Sam Elliot) vs. Chewbacca and Bossk ("Star Wars")
Another awesome pair of cowboy brothers who would run train on just about anything that came across their way. Chewie and Bossk are the only two gunslingers who aren’t human in the Star Wars movies and don’t get lit up like Greedo did when he was pointing his gun in Han Solo’s face. However, knowing that the background between Chewbacca and Bossk isn’t that friendly, I would have believe that these two would have a solid gunfight with the Earps but then at some point turn on each other and in the end get smoked by Wyatt and Virgil. I can already see Sam Elliot rocking a new pair of alligator skin boots and Kurt Russell with a nice new fur pelt.
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Charley Waite ("Open Range," Kevin Costner) vs. Klingon ("Star Trek")
Anyone who saw "Open Range" would agree that Charley Waite and his cattle herders had one of the best shootouts ever in the Wild West. You probably also agree that "Star Trek" is about as interesting as watching grass grow. So when you take a guy who kicks ass and is all out of gum against the furrow-browed “warrior” race of "Star Trek" (which happens to sound like a sex toy), you have to go with Costner.
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Young Guns ("Young Guns") vs. the Bugs ("Starship Troopers")
The rag-tag group of gunslingers that make up the Young Guns vs. the ongoing onslaught of the "Starship Troopers" giant bugs would be a sight to see. With the help of the tiger-blood infused, rock slinging Charlie Sheen I think the kids would put up a good fight before ultimately getting totally wiped out by the giant bugs from another planet — they just won't have enough fire power.
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Cort ("The Quick and the Dead," Russell Crowe) vs. Na’vi warrior ("Avatar")
Cort is a lightning-quick gunslinger who has some good flow going on; the Na’vi alien has augmented strength and agility along with greater size than humans. As much as Cort will be able to shoot off a bullet or two, the alien will not likely be that hurt by it and can either launch a poison tipped arrow through him or mule-kick him into next week. This fight definitely goes to the Na'vi.
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Dan Evans ("3:10 to Yuma," Christian Bale) vs. The Thing ("The Thing")
As much as I want to support Christian Bale in this fight, I have to go with The Thing. This alien is what I would like to think of as the embodiment of fear and knowing that you’re going to die no matter what. It can eat you completely whole, then mimic you in looks and personality, then go on to do the same thing to the next person. Unless Dan Evans manufactures himself a flamethrower, he won't stand a chance.
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Rooster Cogburn ("True Grit," Jeff Bridges) vs. Sil ("Species," Natasha Hendridge)
A one-eyed U.S. Marshal vs. a smoking hot, sex-crazed, half-human-half-alien hybrid sounds like an awesome standoff no matter what will happen. I know that Jeff Bridges will take her down without any problems due to being a total bad ass who doesn’t trust anybody whatsoever. Especially when it’s a blonde babe who will practically take her clothes off and actually want to get pregnant with every other guy she meets. This one goes to the eye-patched marshal — he doesn’t take any nonsense from nobody, even from a hot babe like Sil.
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