Murphy’s Law applied to weddings means that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. “Every single gig is a minefield, especially when alcohol is involved,” New York-based DJ Johnny Stuart told Guyism. “People want to get so hammered that they’re blind drunk.” Lines are forming at wedding reception open bars across the country so we’ve called in the music makers who have seen it all from the front of the house: inter-family brawls, bridesmaids and grandmas gone wild, and even a heart attack (it’s all good – the gentleman survived).
The wedding that ended two hours early due to a massive brawl between the bride and groom’s families
“There was some type of issue beforehand between the families and it just blew up,” Atlanta-based entertainer Mark “DJ Battle” Adams told us. “All of a sudden I saw the groom running into the back area where caterers were. Then I saw everyone fighting, coming outside of the door going at it. The bride was crying. It was a big, sloppy fight with people falling all over. Women got involved after the men and probably 20 people in total were involved.”
DJ Battle didn’t get caught up in the melee, though. “I jumped and grabbed speaker, pulled it away, stood there and watched. I didn’t even turn the music off! It was like a soundtrack. The next thing I knew, the venue called police and about 30 officers came to break it up. They even used pepper spray. It was real bad. I came to find out that everyone was just ridiculously drunk and twisted.”
This wasn’t some redneck affair, mind you. “It was an expensive wedding at a very nice place,” Adam said. “It shows it can happen anywhere.”
The bridesmaid with loose morals
“I was playing at this Jersey Shore-type of wedding in Manhattan and there was a bridesmaid totally drunk out of her mind in the restroom and she was making it with a dude or two,” said DJ Johnny Stuart. “I think guys kept going up to the bathroom and kind of pulled a train on her. There was at least a couple of groomsmen and one girl.”
But Stuart wasn’t judging, laughing as he recalled the spectacle.
“These guests were out of their mind. She was getting it on with bunch of dudes, and then wait staff got wind of it and somehow and they ran up the bathroom to watch this scene,” he said. “It was a younger set at this wedding, definitely loosey-goosey Jersey Shore-style and it turned into a big scandal. I think the guests were trying to push the envelope.”
“People want to get drunk and high at all these events and that’s a fine line you have to walk. Unless you want to be a YouTube viral alcoholic.”
The Man Dance
“I was at a wedding in Portland, Oregon earlier this year where the groom and all the groomsmen broke into ‘Man Dance,’ an interpretive dance performance that they’ve apparently perfected at various parties,” said Josh of Twerking Hard DJs. “The most notable ‘Man Dance’ choreography happened during Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart,’ where all the guys (and heterosexual guys at that – this was a hetero wedding) ended up rolling around on the floor and lifting one another by the finale of the song. But sometimes, Bonnie Tyler can just do that to you.”
The overexposed grandma
“I was doing a daytime wedding at the Jersey shore with a crowd of about 200 people,” recalled Noah, a videographer who works weddings. “It was early on in the wedding, maybe one hour into it and the crowd wasn’t that out of the ordinary, singing, dancing having a good time. Then Bon Jovi’s ‘Living on a Prayer’ comes on and crowd starts going nuts.”
“Next thing I know, they are all facing me (at the camera), singing along when granny comes running into center frame and lifts up her blouse! There was a loud ‘Nana, No!’ yelled by one of the bridesmaids and a look on the crowd’s face that clearly displayed this behavior wasn’t a first. Granny put her flapjacks away and then everyone finished out the song, hardly missing a beat. She later tried to tongue kiss the emcee. Good times.”
The near death experience
“I was DJ’ing about 15 yrs ago when a guy had a heart attack right in the middle of the bride and grooms first dance,” said Dan of St. Louis band Hollywood 5. “He had also helped me load my gear in. After another guy performed CPR, he woke up, sat on a chair and the guy who just performed CPR offered him a drag of his cigarette. The paramedics took him to the hospital and he came BACK twenty minutes before it ended and proceeded to have a beer and a cigarette.”
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