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Why Rick Ross Needs to Quit Rap

By / 09.28.12

Aside from all his blatant softness and his handcrafted “Thugness” Rick Ross cannot write for sh*t. Below is a sample of some of his beloved lyrics:

“Everyday I'm hustlin', hustlin'
Hustle, hustlin' hustlin'
Hustle, hustlin' hustlin'
Hustle, hustlin' hustlin'

Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'

Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm, everyday I'm
Everyday I'm hustlin'

Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'

Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm hustlin'
Everyday I'm, everyday I'm
Everyday I'm hustlin'

Who you suckers think you trippin' with? Yes, I'm the boss
Seven forty-five, white on white, that's Rick Ross
I cut 'em wide, I cut 'em long, I cut 'em fat
I keep 'em comin' back, we keep 'em comin' back
I'm in the distribution, I'm like Atlantic
I got them pretty thangs flyin' 'cross the Atlantic
I know Pablo, Noriega, the real Noriega
He owe me a hundred favors

First off, I would like to say one thing before I proceed: You can’t say Atlantic twice and call it a rhyme; it’s the same word! Who taught you how to write rap lyrics Rick Ross you fat f*ck! O.K., NOW we can proceed.

Literally, I have taken shits that can rap better than him, his lyrics are juvenile, not creative and seemingly thrown together in a way that allows the words Ross and Boss to come together at least 17 times a song. Now I’m not saying I hate Rick Ross the rapper, but I HATE RICK ROSS the rapper. And I am concerned about Rick Ross the person.

With clear weight problems, heart failure could be in his near future and that’s never a good thing… until it ends his rap career. Maybe that was a little harsh, but seriously I’ve never heard someone with heart failure rap and if that’s what it takes for Rick Ross to quit rapping, then bring on the heart failure. He could probably save himself now by quitting the unhealthy lifestyle that rap has afforded him to live, (no more rap and no heart failure) but if he chooses to continue in the rap game, maybe a nice warm batch of heart failure will do him some good and save us all from any more stupid coming out of his fat beard.

Aristotle is a Florida based comedian who thinks that the only time Rick Ross ‘Kills it’ is when he finishes the last of whatever fattening food he’s stuffing in his beard. You can follow him on Twitter @sToTle.


TAGSmusicRick Ross

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