With summer in full swing it is safe to assume that most of us have been to a concert or two already. There is nothing quite like live music on a steamy summer night. Our pallets are satisfied with copious amounts of cheap liquor and Miller Lite, the pungent aroma of cigarette and marijuana smoke fill our nostrils as bass-laden records blast our eardrums to the delight of all in attendance. Nothing quite gets the heart racing like live music. It is in our blood, a sort of primal feeling or maybe the excess alcohol that we have consumed, to dance and groove to loud music.
There is no experience quite like seeing your favorite artist live. Seeing any talented act live is generally an enjoyable experience. The interaction of the act with the crowd and the crowd in and of itself is always different for each show and can be quite transcendent at times. Unfortunately, there are certain people you can find at nearly every concert throughout the world that seem to be devoted to ruining your time. Whether they are the amateur photographer filming the entire show on a damn iPad or the PDA couple in front of you who make the show nearly inevitable, these people show up when you least expect it and bother you the entire concert.
Do NOT be one of these five people when you attend your next concert.
1. The Amateur Photographer
You will encounter no one worse than the amateur photographer. They may be top ten worst people you will encounter on this earth. They not only pain you by having their arms up in your face trying to film the entire show on their phones, but they cant possibly be enjoying themselves when doing this. Not to mention the video they capture is more often than not awful upon re-watching. In the day of social media I understand the want to capture any enjoyable moment in your life and I don’t mind a snapchat or two, a picture for Instagram or a 30 second video clip to remind you of the fun that was had. To film an entire show is a damn nuisance. I have seen someone use an iPad to film and photograph during a show. The 9.4 inch by 6.6 inch iPad you are holding in the air cant possibly be obstructing someone’s view, can it? No one around you enjoys your amateur photography so please in the interest of the masses stop.
2. The Couple
These two are forever present at concerts, because lets be honest everyone loves music and dancing. What better place for a date than a concert. You are allowed to be blatantly intoxicated, the blaring music makes full conversation obsolete, and you get to grind with a half chub all night until you get home and put it to use. While couples lover concerts, concertgoers more often than not are bothered by these spit swapping duos. The PDA is inevitable due to alcohol and the good vibes of the music. These two come together and dance into you like a wrecking ball. If you are unfortunate enough to be stuck behind these two you will miss nearly half of the show watching their obnoxious PDA. Believe me when I adamantly say no one wants to witness your over the pants HJ.
3. The Passed Out Stranger
Binge drinking is a staple of tailgating and attending concerts. You prepare yourself all day to drink copious amounts of alcohol while playing cornhole and can jam. If you are truly prepared you have some sort of food to help soak up all the different alcohol you are consuming, but more often than not it is solely alcohol being consumed prior to the show. You then enter the venue and buy an $11 Bud heavy and the drinking continues. Don’t be that guy who overdoes it simply because it is a concert. No one appreciates that bro who is passed out on the lawn taking up enough space for five people to stand. People step on you and constantly comment how this clown is sleeping during a legendary acoustic set from Dave Matthews. You paid $50 for a lawn ticket to pass out right before the first song of the show? C’mon bro.
4. The Babysitter
This person is a saint, they truly are, but I legitimately feel sorry for them. Your girlfriend’s best friend got entirely too intoxicated and is now either passed out, puking, or both. Your buddy is falling into random concertgoers who now hate you both. One time is acceptable and can generally be excused but when it’s multiple times during the two-hour show it is highly frowned upon. Not only does your buddy look like “that guy” but you are also guilty by association. We have all been the babysitter at times and while it is the single worst person to be at a show you have garnered respect for your noble acts. You sacrifice your fun to keep your girlfriend’s “best friend” safe and your buddy out of jail. While no one wants to be this bro during a show, somebody often times has to be. “It’s a dirty job but someone’s gotta do it.”
5. The Blitzkrieg The Front Guy
This guy is handsdown the most selfish person you will encounter during a concert. He wants to yell at his favorite act hoping to get any sort of acknowledgement. More often than not he is also an amateur photographer. They are more often than not some of the taller people at the show so the need to be in front is highly unnecessary. They barrel over you and your group on their way to the glorious front. God forbid they are 15 rows off the stage or not directly in the middle where viewing is optimal. You are generally met with a tap on the back followed by an elbow. Rarely is an “excuse me” uttered from the blitzkrieg group. If you happen to be close enough to the front and this group comes rolling through you are in trouble. They always seem to park right in front of you and somehow are always just tall enough to obscure your view and everyone you came with. Wherever you find yourself on this list do NOT be this guy.
Girl at concert pic via Shutterstock
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